An Unruly Dragon
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: Who possesses the greatest power in the world? The Four Emperors? One Piece? The Navy? Pirates? No. If one were to consult a scholar, he would tell you that the greatest power in the world belongs to the World Nobles. But what good is that power when its wasted by fools like them? We could do so much good with this power...yet we do not. Why? Why don't we? Narutoxharem!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **So, long story short I've been watching One Piece again,**

 **Seeing as the latest chapter of Hard Contact didn't get a lot of love, my inner mused sort of...took over. When I say took over, I mean it got right and properly riled up, to the point that I'd gone and written this before I knew it. This...**

 **...this'll be something new.**

 **Well, I have no idea if its been done before, but even if it has, I wanted to try my own spin on it.**

 **You can also expect an update for "Hard Contact" and the rest, soon!**

 **To clarify, this chapter takes place in the Sabaody arc.**

 **And yes, the "intro" is told from Naruto's P.O.V.**

 **Yes, its deliberately short.**

 **Hope you all like it~!**

 _"World Nobles...slaves...human shops...against the "purity" of these "upper classes", the villains of the world look positively humane in comparison. It's because the world's in the hands of scum like them that it's all screwed to hell...I mean, we're not the nicest of guys, but at least we're honest about it...unlike some people."_

 _"Eh? What're you looking at me for? I'm innocent this time!"_

 _~a certain pirate and a certain noble._

 **The Highest Bidder**

 _Who possesses the greatest power in the world?_

 _The Four Emperors?_

 _The One Piece?_

 _The Navy?_

 _Pirates?_

 _No._

 _If one were to consult a scholar, he would tell you that the greatest power in the world belongs to the World Nobles, otherwiise known as the Celestial Dragons. These so-called descendants of nineteen of the Twenty Kings who established what is now known as the World Government. They believe that their "bloodline" makes them gods. With no one to disabuse them of this delusion they carry out inhumane acts without the slightest fear of consequences. They know neither hunger nor pain; indeed, they utterly disregard any facet of law or society that does not serve their own interests._

 _Tenryūbito._

 _Filthy, filthy, **filthy.**_

 _Even now I'm disgusted to count myself among their number._

 _I ask you, what makes slavery divine? What gives you the right to inflict that misery on another being?_

 _What, for that matter, is so "heavenly" about a bunch of fat bastards lazing about in Mariejos? All I've ever known are cowards who torment others for their own amusement, flaunt their own power to spite others; who rip families apart and steal children for their own petty acts of spite and indulgence. A wise man once said that with great power comes great responsibility. Celestial Dragons can't fathom that. Rather, they don't want to. They'd sooner cast out a family a man-and his family-who sought to better themselves than admit their own folly._ _Are the sins of the father those of the son? No! They are not!_

 _Idiots, the lot of them!_

 _They barely know their asses from their elbows!_

 _We could do so much GOOD yet they CHOOSE to be cruel!_

 _I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. I've long since made up my mind._

 _If you can't change a system from without, then you have to do it from within. Sometimes that's the only way. Though you might despise it and everyone within, you have to bite that bullet. Grin and bear it. Adopt a facade and put on an act...all the while undermining the foundation of everything they cherish. If can't beat them? Join them. Tear them down from the inside out, rip them apart and watch as they fight amongst one another; like starving dogs scraping for meat._

 _What better way to do it that by turning them against each other?_ _After all..._

 _...whoever said one dragon can't devour another?_

* * *

 _(...Scene Break...)_

* * *

 _"SOLD!"_

Disco's gavel crashed down upon the desk with a resounding thud and brought a deathly pall to the auction house. Once. Twice. Thrice. Each strike seemed to echo endlessly into the open space beyond, ringing with a heavy finality. Indeed, the entire grove itself seemed to fall silent, a shroud of confusion draping itself over those assembled, royalty and commoner alike. All eyes turned towards the one responsible. Some gaped. Others glowered, infuriated at having been outbid so easily. None possessed the means to challenge that obscene amount. Had any dared attempt such a feat, they would've found themselves pinned by that laserlike glare.

"Do I hear any objections?!"

The auctioneer's words met empty silence.

After all, when someone bids _one hundred billion berries_ on an entire auction house worth of slaves, the world tends to take notice. But it did not do so meekly. Disquieted murmurs wafted into the air and took wing, irritated whispers rising to the trained ear. One had but to listen. They were hushed of course, for no one wanted to risk provoking the auctioneer's ire, yet present nevertheless.

 _"Him again?"_

 _"I can't match that!"_

 _"Just because he's a damn-_

"And so we have it. then!" one could all but _taste_ the avarice in the slaver's voice. "They're all yours, my good man!"

"Good." a rough voice intoned. "You'll find the payment in the usual place."

"Always a pleasure doing business with your lordship!"

"I'll be taking them now, then."

Pascia swallowed thickly.

She'd heard it all, and it dashed her hopes against the rocky shore of despair.

The sheer number _alone_ threatened to make her weak at the knees and leave her a trembling wreck onstage; not because of the amount, but the intent of the one who'd issued it. Anyone willing to throw away such obscene sums of money couldn't be right in the head. If they were, then there desires couldn't be anything short of untoward. Sabaody Archipelago hadn't seen such a remarkable bid since its inception. Even _she_ , as a dancer, had never heard of such an absurd sum.

 _Just what did this man intend to do with them?_

As she looked on, all eyes turned to regard the highest bidder.

Distantly, she recognized his garb as that of a World Noble...but there was something off about it. Almost decidedly so. For one, he wasn't fat; if anything he looked almost dangerously lean beneath those flowing white robes. He'd absconded with the traditional resin coating that traditionally prevented them from breathing the air of the common people. Nor did his wild unruly hair contain that hideous curl that the Dragons were so known for. He looked almost...normal. His sole defining features were a pair of striking blue eyes set in a tan face framed by whiskered cheeks and the untamed flaxen hair she'd first seen.

Was he with those nobles from before?

No, her eyes argued, he couldn't be. The other seemed to be seething at his very presence, for their faces were knotted with rage. Yet neither did they challenge him. The fat one seemed to be twisting and writhing with rage, his temper contained only by the firm hand grasping at his shoulder. Interesting, a tiny, detached part of her mused, even as the rest of her mind bleated with fear. Then who was-

Those eyes held her now, brighter than the sky itself.

Rational thought abandoned her, replaced by blood-curdling fear.

A small tremor ran through her as he approached the stage. Wait. He couldn't possibly intended to...

 _...he did._

She shrank back half a step as the Celestial Dragon nimbly vaulted the stage and alighted into a pointed crouch before her. Rising to his full, towering height, he loomed over her. Something in her quailed in the face of that blank visage. When he reached for her collar, she flinched aside. An unuttered shriek of grief lingered on her lips, ready to spring forth at the slightest provocation. To voice them would be death, yet her heart gave a painful wrench regardless. No, no, no! She didn't want to be sold! She had a life! A family!

"S-Sir!" the auctioneer protested, "I...this is highly irregular!"

If the Dragon heard him, he did precious little to show it.

Coughing softly, into a fist, the Noble spoke.

"Right, then. For my very first order...

She wasn't prepared for the smile.

"Hold still. This won't hurt."

 _"What?"_

Wordlessly, his hand found the collar around Pascia's neck and pulled. The dancer nearly yelped and fainted on the spot. But rather than explode as she'd feared, his hand simply phased _through_ the hardened metal. Like an ethereal shade, her "master" simply reached in and through, as though searching for something. Whatever it was, he found it. A soft click reached her ears, punctuated by a dull crunch as the lock gave way. A great weight dropped from her shoulders; in spite of her best efforts, her hands flew to her now-exposed neck. Her mind blanked. How could it not? He'd just done something so inane, so hopelessly absurd, that she had no way of recognizing it, let alone accepting the unlikely outcome of his actions. Had she fainted? Was she dreaming? Surely she must be. And yet...

...this felt real. Painfully, agonizingly real, matching the frantic pounding of her heart.

Fear and joy clashed with one another, chasing themselves across her visage.

A wordless sense of relief consumed, her stealing her words away.

"I...you...why?" she croaked out, her eyes tearing up.

In disbelief, she stared at her unlocked collar.

Again, she faced that heartstopping smile.

"You're all free to go, ya know!"

The dancer blinked.

 _...hah?"_

 **A/N: Yes, Pascia is an actual character. Look her up if you don't believe me.**

 **Just a quick little intro to what promises to be an absolutely**

 **Celestial Dragon or not, I can easily see Naruto buying AN ENTIRE AUCTION house just to free the slaves. Strikes me as the sort of thing he'd do.**

 **After all, we all know he likes to go overboard.**

 **Bit of a lighthearted yet semi-serious take on things. I've seen stories where Naruto was a slave of the Celestial Dragons, but never actually one himself. Yes, its implied that he and Doflamingo knew one another as children; the difference being that one left the World Nobles-thanks to Homing-while the other grew up as one of them, and gradually came to despise them.** **Now there's an arc that'll come back to bite him if he isn't careful.**

 **So let's clarify:**

 **Naruto is Naruto. As in his parents were still Minato and Kushina, just in in this world. He's strong, wicked fast, and possesses a strong moral compass. In terms of age I'd peg him as a roughly a year or three under Doflamingo. And yes, Naruto has a full head of hair-thing Jiraiya's Gutsy Ninja-because I cannot STAND his design in Boruto. Despite his actions, he's very much on the side of good and doesn't approve of Charloss and the others.**

 **...unlike his compatriots.**

 **Devil Fruit, you say?**

 ***Zips lips***

 **Nope, not talking about that yet!**

 **DEATH TO THE CELESTIAL DRAGONS! DEATH I SAY!**

 **S** **o...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, would you kindly?**

 **And enjoy the preivews!**

 **(Preview!)**

 _Charloss bristled._

 _"I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!"_

* * *

 _"We must be better than this. And if the only alternative is violence..._

 _He paused._

 _"I'm not sorry."_

 _Roswald quailed._

 _"No! Wait! I beg of you-_

 _The knife descended ruthlessly._

* * *

 _"Doffy, right? I remember you."_

 _"Tch. Still a meddling bastard as always, I see."_

 _"Say, whatever happened to your brother? I liked him."_

 _For the first time since their conversation began, Doflamingo stopped smiling._

* * *

 _"You think you can do some good as one of them?! You're filth! Don't touch me!"_

 _"Even so, I want to make the world better!"_

 **R &R! =D**


	2. And Who Are You?

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **HOLY CRAP I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS MUCH SUPPORT!**

 **0_0**

 **Also, let's clarify something.**

 **Naruto's view on the world is...warped.**

 **He also bought ALL the slaves at that auction. Including Camie.** **He then turned right around and said they're free. The reason we didn't see the Strawhats in the last chapter was because they-like the rest of the crowd-were literally STUNNED into silence. After all, its not every day you see someone throw that kind of money around.** **Of course, that'd piss the World Nobles off.** **Saint-ugh!-Charloss in particular.** **Can you believe that bastard wanted to buy Camie just to see her eaten by his piranha?**

 **Yup, he did.**

 **I've even read the latest manga chapter and...well...**

 **...Charloss ain't living past this. And Mjosgard! Yes, yes, YES! I knew he'd reform! I'm so happy to see this! Unfortunately, my anger at Lucci has been reignited. We all thought that fucker reformed but noooooo he's even worse than before and TWICE as much as a dick. Sorry, sorry, the latest chapter has my really riled up.**

 **Furthermore, Naruto deliberately released the slaves in front of everyone to make a statement.**

 **Now, some of you have asked: Neon, won't they just be captured again?** **Let's just say Naruto isn't alone in his endeavors.** **Namely, he has some allies of his own. Powerful allies, some poached from the crews of other pirates at that. Its his "Talk no jutsu" at its finest, I'd say.** **This chapter addresses that.** **Its also HEAVILY implied that Naruto's a fan of the Strawhats for their role in dismantling Crocodile's operation.** **Now he's not quite at Bartolomeo levels of fandom, but he's up there. This chapter ought to reflect that.** **In conclusion, the chapter titles are a stab at Game of Thrones.** **I thought it fit the theme here, all things considered:**

 **For example, it would be:**

 **And Who Are you,**

 **The Proud Lord Said,**

 **That I Must Bow So Low,**

 **Only a Cat of a Different Coat...**

 **...etc, so on and so forth. Hope you like it!**

 **If not, I suppose I can always change the titles...**

 **Also, the Smaug quote belongs to Smaug, but of course.**

 **I swear, Benedict Cumberbatch fucking NAILED it as that damn dragon! There's also a little tongue twister early on =D** **Oh, and the following quote is a creed I can easily seen An Unruly Dragon living by.** **Also, a few minor changes and a small timeskip-we're talking a few minutes here-leading to Luffy and Zoro crashing in, meaning all the Strawhats are present at the time of Naruto's little stun...**

 **..and the hilarity that follows.**

 _"If someone asks us for help, we mustn't turn the other cheek._

 _We must be there whenever a hand reaches out for aid._

 _We must be there when an innocent child cries._

 _We must be **there** when we are needed._

 _We must be nobles worthy of name._

 _We must be better than this..._

 _...because we are dragons!"_

 _~?_

 **And Who Are You?**

 _A dragon is not a god._

 _No matter how much one might wish it to be so, it is not invincible._

 _A true dragon-an actual living incarnation of destruction-is mighty to be sure; their scales are ten-fold shields; their teeth are like swords; their claws spears; the shock of their tail - a thunder bolt; their wings - a hurricane; and their breath - death. But a dragon is not invincible. Its wings can be bound. It can fall to the ground. It can bleed. It can die. One might believe otherwise; to think a creature of such inimitable power is unassailable in its place at the peak. That nothing can ever shake it from its summit._ _But believing in something doesn't make it real._

 _We are not gods._

 _We are human, mortal._

 _I learned that when my mother died._

 _Mjosgard's...experience only served to solidify my beliefs._

 _No matter how much we might wish to convince ourselves otherwise, we are not infallible. We make mistakes-many in their case!-yet rather than admit or atone for them, we swaddle ourselves in privilege and power until that's all we know. Just as I did. I believed the lie for the longest time until my eyes were opened. That cruel shock made me realize the truth; we aren't what they claim we are. I saw what they thought of us that day. To the common people, we're little more than bullies; monsters wrapped in robes, girded by arrogance._ _We cannot afford to be mediocre savages whiling away our gifts._

 _We cannot kidnap and steal and pillage and plunder to our hearts content._

 _We cannot rampage about as we please, regardless of consequence._

 _To do so would bring the world to ruin._

 _The sea opened my eyes to that; my travels, moreso. You cannot make a friend of a slave; for a slave will fear the whip and react accordingly. But a friend...someone you've bonded with, fought beside through thick and thin...a friend will stand by your side until the very end. I learned early on that it was better to have a single friend than it was to possess a thousand slaves. Money cannot buy friendship, no matter how much a Tenryubito might argue that it does. A true friend will stand beside you always._ _In my journey abroad I made many of them and...well...that's a story for another time._

 _Once more, with great power comes greater responsibility._

 _In that sense, the responsibility of World Noble is the greatest of all._

 _We must be better than this; than our ancestors; we must be better than ourselves..._

* * *

 _(...Scene Break...)_

* * *

Nami wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry.

Frankly, the navigator no longer knew if she was capable of either after enduring this kind of stress. Her nerves were frayed to the point of snapping altogether after the last few minutes; Camie's kidnapping, the auction, Luffy and Zoro's boisterous entry through the roof, and the conclusion that followed. One event after the other, a series of cascading coincidences compounding in fatal fractures that threatened to drive her utterly, hopelessly mad.

Could this day get any worse?

"This is ridiculous," she laughed/moaned into her hands. "Absolutely ridiculous...

Even now her knees buckled; she felt rather than saw herself collapse, crumpling to the floor as her legs folded beneath her. Not with grief, but relief. They'd been more than prepared to use their own two hundred million berries to secure Camie's safe return, only to have those hopes dashed as a Celestial Dragon-a freaking Tenryubito in the flesh!-bid a whopping five hundred million, a number no sane human had any hope of beating. Forget challenging the asshole, they simply didn't have that needed to compete with him...

...until someone swooped in and upstaged _him_ with sadistic glee.

 _One hundred billion berries._

What manner of madness was this?!

Who had that kind of money to throw around?!

It was such an absurd amount that she nearly rejected it out of hand; but the auctioneer certainly hadn't. He'd gleefully accepted the newcomers coin and with said Noble's cheery declaration, the tension had drained right of the room, evaporating like so much steam. Even now the slave he'd just freed-Pascia, if she recalled correctly-tucked her head behind the blond's shoulders as he walked, seeking safety in his presence lest the room erupt into chaos or the like. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Nami almost pitied him.

Despite his earlier admission, the dancer seemed quite taken with his selfless display.

Well, _good for her,_ but this didn't make any sense!

From what she'd seen and heard, she'd expected _all_ Celestial Dragons to be little better than that Charloss creep; depraved pigs who thought they could get away with whatever they pleased, all under the guise of diplomatic immunity. To find one who'd blatantly buy up an entire auction house worth of slaves only to set them free...

...needlessly to say she was having trouble adjusting to that.

Least of all that said dragon was currently stomping towards them with a certain mermaid in his arms.

Nami nearly bolted towards the poor girl, such as her fright.

 _'Camie!'_

The rest of the crew were of a similar mind:

 _"Nyu! Camie?!"_

 _"Camie-chwan?!"_

 _"Owh! What the hell?!"_

 _"Yiiiii! Stay away! Stay away!"_

 _"Gah! Why's he coming over here with her?!"_

"Pardon me," the young man sketched a bow-as much as one could when holding a startled merfolk in their arms-towards their motley little crew, "But might you be the Strawhats...?"

Nami hissed softly.

 _'Don't speak, don't speak, whatever you idiots do, don't-_

"Yup," Luffy replied thoughtlessly, shattering the tension with an easy grin. "That'd be us."

"LUFFY!"

"What? He asked so _-ack?!"_

Sanji promptly concassed the rubberman into the floor.

"Just ignore him." he feigned a smile. "We get that sort of thing a lot."

To his dismay, the Celestial Dragon didn't buy his remark.

Rather he took it upon himself to lean forward.

"No, I'm sure you're the Strawhats...

Usopp quivered.

"I'm having a serious case of _I-can't-be-near-this-person-disease..._

"Aha!"

The Unruly Dragon seized upon that whimper like a starving beast and leaned forward, momentarily forgetting his charge. Placid blue eyes rounded on the Strawhat sniper, dancing with just a hint of warmth. Judging by the way the long-nosed warrior shrieked and bolted behind Franky, he compared that calm expression to that of a rampaging dragon. All told, the blond certainly did exude a sense of...presence. If she had to lend it words, she might even call it pressure. As though his body simply radiated heat. Even then she didn't expect the response that followed.

"I knew it! You must be Sogeking! The one who burned the flag of the World Government! I'd recognize that nose anywhere."

Another awkward bow followed forthwith. "I must confess, I'm a bit of a fan."

Usopp's expression turned apoplectic, his tan expression ashen.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HE KNOWS ABOUT SOGEKING?!"

Much to Nami's chagrin, the World Noble chuckled.

"Hmm? Of course I know about all about you! I'd love to have that kind of freedom." he smile grew imperceptibly. "Don't believe me?" Defiant of the sniper's disbelief, the whiskered warrior began to hum a soft tune beneath his breath. "On the island of snipers I was-

"HE KNOWS THE SONG TOO?! HOW?!"

 _"That's a secret!"_

Pivoting on one heel-and seemingly heedless of the heart attack he'd just given their poor sharpshooter-the enigmatic blond turned to face her, seemingly uncaring as Chopper bustled past to treat the spasming sniper. For her part, Nami immediately braced herself, wary of those pleasant blue eyes and the secrets lurking within. With every word he'd spoken thus far, he had threatened to upturn her poisonous view of the World Government. Now she found herself face to face with the very symbol of authority she so loathed and despised...

...oddly enough, she was reminded of a puppy, eager to please.

Had he a tail, she suspected it would've been wagging.

"Nami, right? I heard you bid two hundred million earlier for the little miss earlier. I can reimburse you for that if you like."

"Huh?" she blinked, momentarily taken aback by his statement. "But I didn't spend it-

"Call it a contribution on my part, then." the blond beamed.

A beat of painful silence passed between them.

"N-No, that's alright...

"NAMI TURNED DOWN TREASURE!"

"A STORM IS COMIIIIIIING!"

Whilst Chopper, Luffy, and a now-revived Usopp continued to shriek like madmen in the background, Brook tilted his skeletal head aside, regarding the seemingly unruly dragon with inquisitive eyes. For all his eccentricity and grand gestures, the newcomer seemed sincere in his gestures, but who knew? If pirates could be deceptive, than surely anyone in the service of the World Government must be thrice so. Especially someone wielding the title of a World Noble. Still, there was one burning question on his mind that refused to abate, no matter how much he might wish it otherwise...

"Pray tell, just who is Sogeking?"

 _...ha?"_

Just like that, the Celestial Dragon's attention shifted to regard their newest member with laser focus.

"And who are you? I don't believe there was a poster of you...

Such manners!

"My name is Brook!" Chuffed by such behavior, the skeleton tittered softly and sketched a bow of his own. "Dead Bones, Brook! As you can see! Although I have no eyes to see with! Yohohoho!" Despite the tension, he found himself unable to resist the pun and shrieked a laugh. "Skull jooooooooooooke!"

A brow rose?

"S-Skull...joke?"

Naruto snorted quietly.

A hand slapped up, covering his mouth.

Quite suddenly, something reminded him of Camie.

"Right, I'm being rude! Here you go, Cook-san! Take her, with my gratitude!"

"Eh?!" the greenette stiffened in is arms. "Wait a sec!"

 _"Mellorine~!"_

With an unceremonious grunt the blond spun and launched the recently-freed mermaid towards a startled Sanji; his fellow blond jolted in surprise at the sudden maneuver and only narrowly managed to catch her in time. To his credit, he lasted at least three seconds without swooning. A heartbeat later, his entire being seemed to dissolve into a gooey puddle. Honestly, Nami considered it something of a miracle he held onto her at all. Still...with this they might be able to escape without-

"Oho!"

...it was not to be.

Luffy's eyes were practically sparkling by now. "So you're a nice guy, huh?! Thanks for giving Camie back!"

"Of course! But I really wanted to talk with Nico Robin. That's...kinda the reason I'm here."

The archaelogist arched a delicate brow.

"With me? Whatever for?"

"Yeah, you see, I wanted to ask you-

A sudden commotion from one of the lower seats interjected.

"I WILL NOOOOOOOOOOT ACCEPT THIS!" Charloss's nasally voice erupted into a petulant whine. "Capture those slaves! _Capture them at once!"_

Naruto growled.

"You take one step out of your seat little brother, and I'll beat you within an inch of your life!"

"No! I've have enough of your nonsense, you piece of trash-

 _"Shut up! You're annoying!"_

CRUNCH.

Before anyone could think to stop him, Luffy's arm snapped forward in a bolt of motion. As everyone looked on in horror, the blow connected. Like an arrow launched from a bow, his elongated limb flew straight and true, colliding headlong with Charloss's unprotected visage. The result was nothing short of spectacular. Momentum seized the unprepared dragon in a raw roar of sound and ripped him from his feet, casting him headlong across the stairs, dragging his body headlong in a twisted tangle of broken limbs and shattered spars.

Naruto palmed his face and groaned.

"Luffy, what the hell?! I was going to do that! Do you have any idea what you just...oh, fuck it!"

Exasperated, he sighed softly.

 _"Smoothie!_ Clean up the rest, would you?"

As though waiting for that very moment, the door to the auction house burst open with a dull howl.

Then, quite suddenly, she was there.

Nami's jaw jaw hung agape as she beheld an exceptionally tall, statuesque woman from the Longleg Tribe towering over her, presenting her with a prime view of a tattooed leg. Blue eyes set in a tanned-yet-stern face framed by ashen hair narrowed upon the guards, assessing them, determining their worth. Clad in a pink striped leotard and wearing a large yellow scarf that flowed nearly to the ground, she looked like something fresh out of some mad wonderland. Long sleeves sheathed her long limbs to her elbows and a huge floppy cap resembling an over-sized beret, had taken up residence upon her head. There was more, to be sure, but despite that burning coal of anger in her chest, she found herself stricken speechless by the sight.

Words alone didn't do the stranger justice.

By contrast, her attire couldn't have more dissimilar.

Almost as an afterthought Smoothie lashed out, seizing the nearest guard.

In a flash, she'd snatched one of them up in a large hand.

"W-W-What're you doing?! Stop!"

 _Then she juiced them._

There could be no other explanation for the horror the Strawhats witnessed next; one moment the whitehead clutched a guard in hand, the next, she simply squeezed. Wringing her unlucky victim between her large hands, she squeezed the man's very fluids into a glass, leaving naught but a withered husk behind. Satisfied with her work, the large woman cast the desiccated body aside.

"Just who the hell is she...?" Nami hissed aside.

Blue eyes turned to regard her with just a hint of humor.

"Eh, poached her off a Yonkou when I was younger." pearly white teeth flashed in a grin. "Seriously, though. Fuck Big Mom. She's never been my favorite."

Nami felt her world spin.

"An Emperor...you actually pissed off an Emperor...

"Right, then!" The massive woman brandished her blade, causing those nearby to shrink back. "Next one to try that gets the same!"

 _Needless to say, no one protested._

 **A/N: Doffy bit will be next chapter!**

 **Same for Roswald, unfortunately.**

 **Didn't see that coming now, did you?**

 **Yup, Naruto's taken Smoothie-and Pudding-under his wing.**

 **I'm sure you already know this by now, but that act has consequences.**

 **Remember, even in cannon our boy possesses a determination-if not charisma-that few can match. If he wants you to be his friend then damnit you're going to be his friend. If that means plunging into the territory of an Emperor to rescue a tormented soul, he'll do it in a heartbeat. Mind you, he isn't a pushover like the other World Nobles. You hit him; he'll slug you right back then drag you out for a round of drinks...with one exception.**

 **Yes, he has a hatred for Big Mom.**

 **That'll be elaborated later.**

 **Personally, though?**

 **I.**

 **HATE.**

 **BIG MOM.**

 **I don't know why people sympathize with her, and I've seen her past. Yes, her parents couldn't handle her. Yes, they abandoned her. But I can't forgive her; not after all she's done. Monstrous strength or not, she had EVERY opportunity to become someone good! But what did she do? She turned into a glutton with a serious addiction to food. From there, she instead she decided to be a greedy little shit. She ATE her friends. Just...straight up ate them in an eating frenzy. To top if off, she KILLS her children when they don't suit her needs and torments them when it amuses her. Pudding, Chiffon, and Lola are prime examples of this, and to a lesser extent, Smoothie.**

 **Linlin even has fucking FOOD TANTRUMS in which she'll eat or crush anything in her way.**

 **I mean, Kaidou and the others emperors aren't saints but at least they don't EAT people and abuse their own children. That strikes a chord with me. A pirate she may well be, but that doesn't excuse her acts, or her own infantile mind.**

 **If I have anything to say about it, she'll get a very rude awakening soon!**

 **Phew, sorry about all of that! There we go, rant finally over!**

 **Next chapter, Naruto pays the Four Emperors a visit!**

 **S** **o...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, would you kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **I REGRET NOTHING!**

 **(Preview!)**

 _Robin blinked._

 _"What do you know of the true history?"_

 _Blue eyes twinkled in silent scarlet relief. "Quite a bit, actually..._

* * *

 _"Its a brew of my own making. Oughta put some pep back in your step."_

 _"You saucy brat. I wasn't expecting this."_

 _Naruto sketched a bow._

 _"Its what I do."_

* * *

 _"You've got some nerve coming back here, brat!"_

 _A lone iris turned to regard her._

 _"Shut your hole, Big Mom. I'm not here for your fatass. I came to see your Poneglyph."_

 _Smoothi clamped a large hand over her mouth to stifle a smile._

 _Her mother's reaction was slightly more...profound by comparison._

 _"WHY YOU-?! Never! I'd sooner die than let you have a look at that piece after what you-_

 _"Ah, ah, ah!" a finger wagged dangerously, hovering over the Den-Den-Mushi in his off hand. "You lay one finger on me and you'll have three admirals to deal with. Hmm. Maybe I should just press this button anyway? It'd be worth it to see that ugly mug of yours ground into paste. Or..._

 _As she looked on, his body began to radiate fresh heat._

 _"Maybe I should just do it myself? By the way!"_

 _A_ _single finger rose in a salute._

 _"Pudding says hi!"_

 **R &R! =D**


	3. The Proud Lord Said

**A/N: Sorry in advance for the long Author's Note. REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION!** **HOLY CRAP I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS MUCH SUPPORT!** **I'm about ready to butcher the Gorosei after the last chapter. Roswald and Charloss especially.** **And if that "shadowy figure" on the throne at the end if who I think it is** **...its gonna be one hell of a storm on the horizon.**

 **This "Im-sama" is going to be dangerous.**

 **0_0**

 **And silly me, I forgot to mention poor Brulee in the last chapter! Bad author! To the corner with you!**

 ***smacks self***

 **She's the reason he's able to travel so rapidly, as seen in the previews. Naturally, our boy possess the power of flight thanks to his own Devil Fruit-which appears in this chapter-but he relies on her and her Mira Mira no mi to get around both the Grand Line and New World quickly. Of course, this only works for locations that possess mirrors and are known to him and his allies; its not like he could Brulee as a hack to get to Raftel. Furthermore, he has no desire to attain "One Piece" for himself. He's simply curious about it.** **Quick clarification, Brulee hasn't been scarred/tortured in this story, and as such, she actually retains the beauty of her younger years.**

 **So, let's name his allies thus far:** **Brulee,** **Pudding, and** **Smoothie.**

 **That's it.**

 **This chapter elaborates more on how he saved/swayed them to his side, that he wasn't able to do more, and why he didn't simply take on Big Mom directly. What? If I revealed his entire past straight out the gate, it wouldn't be a very good story now, would it?**

 **Thus far, many have guessed at Naruto's Devil Fruit.**

 **Some theorized that he stole Oven's power, seeing as I mentioned heat and the like. Nope. Think something on a grander scale. He literally has access to nearly any fruit he wants as a Celestial Dragon, so of course he went with the most powerful one he could find. One that rather suits his original abilities, now that I think about it. Think for a moment, what power could our eccentric blond possibly possess? I thought long and hard on it, and in the end, the answer was obvious. In addendum, Naruto isn't the first to wield this power; he's the THIRD, and that's a big whopping hint right there!**

 **One of you has already guessed at it.** **The quote and title alike are another hint.**

 **But his "power" also has a significant drawback...** **...after all, no one's all powerful in One Piece, and he's certainly no exception. Its also why he feels the need to keep his friends close** **and his enemies closer.**

 **And no, I haven't skipped Rayleigh. That old geezer is fucking awesome and strong as hell~!**

 **Minor time skip of about an hour contained within, here~!**

 **Haven't forgotten Pascia, either...**

 **..but I've changed things~!**

 **And references, references everywhere~!** **Have fun finding them!**

 **Now, we finally get to see things from Naruto's perspective. A lot happens in this chapter, so prepare your minds to be blown right out of the water!**

 _"That one...he's like the sun. Try to drag him down all you like, you'll only get burned."_

 _"Sound like you have experience in that."_

 _"Fuhahahaha! I do!"_

 _~?_

 **The Proud Lord Said**

 _Pride._

 _If you were to look up the definition of that word, one would describe it as a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements; or those with whom one is closely associated. From qualities or possessions that are widely admired, pride can be any number of things. Pride is a part of us all, whether we like it or not. Pride in your work. Appearance. Family. To take pride in normal, humble aspects of life isn't so bad. Indeed, such things are often demanded of us in our everyday lives._ _But pride can be a sin._

 _Pride in putting down others._

 _Pride in making a girl shed tears._

 _Pride in crushing your enemies underfoot._

 _Pride in hoarding every bit of gold, like a dragon._

 _But what makes Pride truly dangerous is that it feels right. We tell ourselves that we're not in the wrong; delude our minds into believing what we want. Oftentimes it begins as a small ember in our hearts; a tiny flame. Weak at first, but given time it can become a raging flame. A whisper here, a dismissive thought there, and before you know it you find yourself treading down that dark path, too far gone to ever return. Pride is tenacious. Like a lion. Humiliate it, and it can return far more powerful than before. Like the sun, it waxes and wanes with time, an eternal force we grapple with until the end of his days._

 _I met a man who embodied Pride, once._

 _A great mountain of a warrior, both strong, yet humble._

 _From him I learned the importance of channeling that pride. Not to look down on others, but to pity them. A mighty, yet gentle pride. If you stand at the summit of all things, then is it not your duty to help those who have not yet reached the peak? He taught me that. To never hold hatred in your heart for anyone, yet to ruthlessly punish those who would trample upon the feelings of others. To acknowledge the strength of their dreams and cherish the bond's you've built._ _To channel them, turning that pride towards healthier goals than my own twisted kin._

 _Pride may well be a sin, but I've found that when placed in the right hands..._

 _...if used for good, the pride we hold on our hearts is the mightiest weapon of them all._

 _Hmm?_

 _What was the name of this man, you ask?_

 _That's right, I didn't say it, did I?_

 _Well! I'll gladly tell you!_

 _His name was..._

* * *

 _(...Scene Break...)_

* * *

 _"HE PUNCHED A CELESTIAL DRAGON?!"_

 _"Run for your liiiiiiives!"_

 _"She'll kill us all!"_

To say chaos followed would've been an understatement; if Luffy's sudden assault on Charloss had already shaken those assembled, Smoothie's abrupt entrance kicked over the proverbial anthill. A cacophony of panicked voices erupted into the sundered auction house as countless men and women leaped from their seats, their only thought escape. In one wave, the human stampede raced for the exit. Not only for fear of angering a Tenyrubito, but from the enraged towering woman who'd threatened to squeeze the very life out of them. Guards boiled out of a side passage even as they ran for the doors, uncaring of whom they trod underfoot.

Credit where it was due, the Strawhats defended themselves instantly.

In doing so, Naruto felt a touch left out.

"Jeez, I really didn't expect on this much chaos...

Honestly, it was almost enough to make a man feel sorry for the guards...

...until he remembered who cruel those men and women so happily chose to serve.

Funny thing about hindsight; it can sank your ship faster than any New World storm ever could-

"Darling," Smoothie nudged his back with the flat of her blade, demanding his attention. "You're making that face again."

Naruto blinked, drawn from his reverie by her words.

"Eh? Oi? What face? I don't make _...faces."_

Smoothie nudged him again.

"You're scaring her."

Oh.

Right.

He'd nearly forgotten about Pascia.

While it was true that most of the un-collared slaves had fled during the pandemonium, he found the mild-mannered woman had stubbornly stuck by his side for reasons unbeknownst to him. Well, until he'd made that face. Now she'd all but hidden herself behind one of Smoothie's long legs-an easy task when one considered her size-in an attempt to hide from his wrath. There was something adorable about her expression; like a mouse trying to seek shelter in the shadow of a much larger animal. Oddly enough, it made him want to pat the poor girl's head.

Instead, he coughed.

"Why are you still here?"

The distressed dancer flinched and sketched a hasty curtsy.

"I-I-If it pleases your lordship," she stammered out, "Might I accompany you...?"

"Oi," his hand flicked, waving her words aside. "None of that lordship crap. I freed you, remember? Besides, I don't keep slaves. _Shoo!"_

"N-No!"

Much to his consternation, the young woman squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head fiercely as he looked on; the stark motion sent her violet tresses lofting about her head like a pale halo. Despite-or perhaps in spite of it-the chaos raging around them, though her knees trembled and her wide eyes gleamed with unshed tears, still she stood her ground. A shimmer of white skies flickered in her wild eyes as she met his even gaze. Her lower lip trembled, stifling a tiny sob of defiance. Yet she didn't back down.

Belatedly, he realized why.

 _Pascia was well and truly terrified._

Not of him, but the prospect of being recaptured again; sold back into the same slavery she'd so narrowly escaped. Perhaps she thought she could find some modicum of safety if she followed him out of this. Perhaps she was simply using him for her own safety. Perhaps she was simply afraid. Regardless, the blond found himself taking pity on her. She clearly wasn't a front line fighter-though he suspected she possessed an ability of her own given how many had bid for her-but for all her fear she still possessed the means to stand up to him. Putting her down felt like kicking a puppy. A small, adorable puppy.

A small, rueful smile plucked at his whiskered cheeks.

"You want to stay that badly? Fine." shaking his head, he turned to face his companion. "Get behind Smoothie and try not to draw attention to yourself. Do you have an ability? Is it any good in a fight?" at her tentative nod, the whiskered warrior found his interest piqued anew. "Good. Use it only as a last resort. We should probably go before Roswald or Shaulia-

 _"How dare you strike my son?!"_

...pitch a fit." he finished on a groan.

And of course, the geezer had to make a fuss.

Times like these he honestly cursed his foul lineage.

"Strawhat Luffy! How dare a lesser human like you lay hands on my flesh and blood?!" exploding out of his seat, the elder noble began to bluster, snapping off wildly inaccurate shots from his pseudo-cane-rifle. "I shall let you know what happens when you lay a hand on the descendants of this world's creators! I will have you stuffed and mounted! You will rue the day-

 _'Oh, enough of this!'_

"Shall I take his head, then?" Smoothie offered. "He's becoming a bit of an eyesore-

A hand jutted out, preventing her from advancing upon the rampaging noble.

"No," Naruto sighed, peeling back the long sleeves of his robes as she looked on. "You know you can't; his family likes to hold a grudge. If you kill him, they'll hunt you for the rest of your days. So, I'll do it. Five minutes should be more than enough. If I go past that...

He exhaled in a long-suffering sigh.

Touched the collar of his robe.

 _...you'll have to stop me."_

An arm rose, slowly.

Heat flooded him.

 **"Cruel Sun."**

With those words, ball of incandescent plasma sputtered to life upon his outstretched fingertips; a tiny sphere of light looming larger and larger with each passing moment as its owner fed it a bountiful amount of energy. In the ruckus, none of the guards/slavers thought to notice a Celestial Dragon, much less his bodyguard. Or that said bodyguard was edging away from said sphere...within good reason. Only a select few individuals noticed the sudden surge of energy emanating from what-appeared-to be a harmless man. More fools, they.

Not so the Strawhats.

More aptly, a certain archaeologist.

"Oh, dear. Just what kind of ability is that...

"Ack! Too hot!" Brook cried! "I can feel my skin peeling! Although being a skeleton, I have no skin! Yohohoho!"

The Unruly Dragon ruthlessly stifled a small smile.

"Oi! Strawhat and friends!" he bellowed. "Might wanna get out of the way!"

Painstakingly, he began to count down from seven, uncaring for the attention he drew-nor the nearby seats beginning to melt beneath the searing heat of his technique. Then, with a flick of his finger he launched the now-swollen globe of heat toward Roswald's unprotected back. It was a very a nice toss, he mused. Precise, accurate, with next to no chance of catching an escaped slave or any unfortunate passerby. Any slaver or guard unfortunate enough to be caught in its path ignited instantly; their death-cries withering in their throats as their bodies were rendered little more than charred husks. In that, they were lucky. They died instantly.

Roswald...

...was not so fortunate.

 _'No...let's not kill him just yet.'_

A thought contracted the sun, weakening it at the last moment.

For all his arrogant pride and piss-poor attitude, the Celestial Dragon still squealed like a struck pig when the small sphere rammed against his unprotected backside. The sheer force of the impact physically lifted the elder dragon from his feet and slammed him into Shalulia _-who'd foolishly forsaken safety to stay by Roswald's side-_ driving both father and daughter headlong into the stage, then the former through it. Whether by ill-luck or chance the impact flung the female away, her neck lolling aside at an awkward angle as she sprawled back into the seats in a ruined heap. Watching her broken body tumble away gave him more relief than a thousand lying whores.

"Oho! Two for the price of one!"

Smoothie sighed. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"Love you too, babe. Now, there's work to be done. Dragons can't kill themselves, you know!"

Humming softly to himself, Naruto abandoned his post and ascended backstage after his prey. Stepping through the impromptu opening he'd created-as well as noticing a familiar mark in the making-he climbed through the gaping tear to find Roswald sprawled beyond. A muffled groan informed him that the old dragon still clung to life; though he'd been badly burned by the blast. Even now, he attempted to drag himself toward an open door leading further backstage. Naruto followed after him at a leisurely pace. Fun wasn't something one considered when murdering a Celestial Dragon in cold blood, but this...

...this put a smile on his face.

Speaking of smiles...

Dark resonant cackling pricked at his ears from the door beyond, causing him to stop short just as he brought his booted foot down.

 _"This is nothing to laugh at, is it?!"_ An exasperated voice keened out in an adjacent room, croaking like a wounded frog. "This is your shop, right, Mister Doflamingo?! Where are you right now?! Nobody's gonna trust this store anymore...those Celestial Dragons are going to blacklist us for this! Can't you help us?!"

A fresh peal of amused laughter rang out and with it came a flicker of memory.

"Human trade is old news already, Disco! This is the age of smiles, you see! _Smiles!"_

 _'I know that voice..._

Naruto's heel descended like an iron pillar, striking Roswald in the side of the head to render him insensate. Bounding over the dazed dragon, he darted toward the door and flung it open. Sure enough, Disco's startled visage whipped towards him, his eyes momentarily diverted from the transponder snail on the table. Said snail was immediately recognizable if only for the signature glasses it wore. An ugly knot twisted in his gut and he batted the auctioneer aside, embedding the unlucky man headfirst into a nearby wall. Without so much as a passing glance at the human stain, the blond snatched up the receiving. Held it to his mouth.

And spoke:

"Is that you... _Doffy?"_

The snail tilted its head.

"Hmm? Who's there? No, wait...

A beat of sustained silence passed between the two men, leagues apart.

After all these years, he expected anger. Rage at the very least, or all-consuming wrath.

He received neither.

"Its you, isn't it?!" a booming laugh greeted him through the snail; as he looked on the gastropod veritably quivered with mirth. "I thought you'd be dead by now! Amazing! You really do have the devil's own luck! After what happened to your mother, I thought they would've thrown you out on your ass! Guess you have your ability to thank for that! HA!"

An ember of anger ignited in his chest, and he tamped it down.

His hand clenched white-knuckled around the snail.

"So sorry to disappoint you."

 _"Fuhahaha!_ This day continues to surprise me!" still trembling in the throes of the Shichibukai's laughter, the bespectacled snail sneered up at him. "Still a meddling bastard as always, I see. It _was_ you, wasn't it? _You're_ the one giving those idiots up in Mariejois such a headache." another wild laugh shook the mouthpiece, threatening to wrest it from his grasp altogether. "You spent quite the sum today. I hope it was it worth it, _old friend."_ the bitter twist of those last two words left no doubt to their owners true intentions.

A muscle jumped in Naruto's jaw.

"What I do with my money is none of your business."

"Now, now! No need to get angry!" a fresh guffaw greeted his growl. "You can have that auction house if you like. Turn it into another one of your "underground railroads" for all I care. I no longer have any interest in human trafficking these days."

"How do you know about-no," ignoring the obvious jab, he deflected it and struck out with an inquiry of his own. "Say, whatever happened to your brother? I liked him. Is he...?"

For the first time since their conversation began, Doflamingo's snail stopped smiling.

"I'll be in touch."

 _CLANK._

Well!

 _There_ was a storm on the horizon he'd have to deal with sooner or later. Doflamingo. If their conversation was anything to go by, he'd changed greatly since their childhood. An image of a smirking child wearing sunglasses conjured itself unbidden. No. He mustn't blame himself. Back then, they'd both been too young to see the consequences of Homing's actions. There was nothing he could have done. No. He _should_ have said something that day. Anything. But what good would it have wrought? Some? None?

Perhaps that was his pride talking.

Even now he could feel his body heating up, his muscles gleefully responding, drinking in power as the sun spiraled ever higher in the sky. He felt...stifled. Barely contained-restrained!-by this infernal suit. If he stepped into broad dalyight like this, he suspected he might lose himself entirely. After all, he stood above-

Furiously, he pumped the brakes.

 _'Right, five minutes...or so I said. Control yourself! Focus up!'_

Putting that distracting image from his mind, the blond slammed the lid on that train of thought and made for the door. Sparing the snail one last lingering look, he returned to the task at hand. A muffled groan informed him that Roswald had roused himself at some point and tried to effect an escape. To his delight, he hadn't crawled far. He'd give the man points for persistence, if nothing else. Oddly enough, he felt no hatred towards him, only pity, the kind one might feel towards an ant scurrying underfoot. Strangely, he noted that one of the nearby cages had been emptied, the bars seemingly peeled back through horrendous strength alone.

Had that giant hole always been there? He was sure it hadn't, yet...

That did not deter him in his duty however, not in the last.

Three quick strides carried him to Roswald's side.

"You stupid pup!" the old man wheezed as he emerged from Disco's hidden room, blissfully unaware of who had just struck him in the first place, "What are you doing, standing there?! Help me!"

The blond paused, pretending to consider it.

"No," he said at last. "I think not."

Roswald paled.

...what?"

"You and your family have run roughshod over this archipelago for far too long." a large hand snaked out, seizing him by his scorched hair and hoisting him up, yanking the roots painfully. "Taking whom you please, killing those who don't do exactly as you say...that is your sin." Heedless of the man's terrified expression, he hoisted him higher, leaving the portly man's feet to drag against the ground. "Truth be told, I've been looking for an opportunity to take you out for awhile now. I just didn't think it would be today." Wordlessly, he raised his free hand, his tan palm dominating the man's field of view. "Your son is unlikely to recover from that punch. And your daughter...well. Can humans survive a broken neck? I wonder about that...

Roswald made a pitiful keening sound, even as his small hands struggled against the vice relentlessly crushing his throat.

"You wretch...what have you done?"

As Roswald flailed in vain, those blazing eyes narrowed upon him.

"What have I done?" Naruto felt, rather than saw himself tilt his head. "Something that should have been done a long time ago. We must be better than this. I have pleaded with all of you, begged you to see the errors of your ways, to no avail. You would not see. You would not listen. Therefore, if the only alternative is violence...

He paused.

 _..then I choose violence."_

Much to his surprise, Roswald spat in his face.

Something ugly reared its head, and Naruto found himself powerless to stop it.

"Scum! Filth!" As though from a great distance, he heard Roswald rage at him. "You're no dragon! You, who are unworthy of even standing in the heavens with _-UGACH?!"_

The vice around his windpipe tightened suddenly and immeasurably, wrenching the words out of his throat. Before the elder dragon's eyes his captor seemed to loom large over him, his once placid expression turning fierce. Heat boiled in his palm like wildfire, shattering Roswald's glasses and scorching his exposed flesh beneath that gelatinous helm. As though he'd plunged into a pot of boiling water, so too did he feel his very blood begin to boil in his veins, crying and wailing as his very being began to burn from within.

He found himself staring at the sun itself.

"I'm unworthy, you say?" when Naruto finally spoke, his words emerged as a low rumble. "And who decided that? You say we must stand above all others? And who decided that?"

Too late, he saw his doom.

"You wouldn't dare! Even you-

Two fingers flicked before his face.

"I DECIDE SUCH THINGS! Now, begone! _Cruel Sun!"_

Denser than a star, the newborn sun bored through Roswald's feeble face at point blank range and ignited with a sonorous roar; simultaneously bursting the bubble surrounding his visage and setting him aflame all at once. In the same instant, Naruto released his elder and allowed him to fall to the earth. With a shriek the burning dragon flopped to the floor, flailing about like a fish out of water. All the while he burned, his wails pitching higher and higher in spite of his struggle. Still, the heat didn't release him. Caught in the teeth of the attack, he could only scream until his voice abandoned him. Until his body crumbled. Until his very brain cooked in his skull...

 _...until naught but ashes remained._

 **A/N: Well?**

 **The Sun-Sun fruit.**

 **Betcha no one saw that coming, eh?**

 **I decided to save the Yonko bits for next chapter. Even with Brulee serving as a sort of "quick-travel" Including them after all this buildup would've felt...forced, ya know? It felt better to focus on the interpersonal relationships between certain characters in this chapter, rather than thoughtlessly bull on ahead without any regard to plot or the like. Naruto isn't a saint by any means, but he wants to do what he feels is right. If that means murdering a few of his own "kin" here and there, then so be it.**

 **Its HEAVILY implied who Naruto was trained by, and whose power he inherited.**

 **Why, none other than the great ESCANOR-SAMA HIMSELF!**

 **When he's calm and happy, he's perfectly himself...**

 **...but when he's riled up...**

 **...DUCK AND COVER.**

 **Just as its implied he's found a way to "restrict" himself so he doesn't go absolutely crazy during the day. No, not Seastone. This is something a bit different. He's also not a complete weakling at night; he simply lacks the powers provided by his fruit. He's still wickedly strong and fast, just not as much as he would be during the day.**

 **And seeing as he still retains the right to call down an Admiral on whomever he pleases...**

 **I almost pity his enemies.**

 **We get into the real meat of the story next chapter!**

 **NEXT CHAPTER: That I Must Bow So Low!**

 **S** **o, in the immortal words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, would you kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **POTENTIAL PREVIEWS~!**

 **I REGRET NOTHING!**

 **(Preview!)**

 _"You say I cannot save anyone?" his shoulders spasmed, wounds closing as they looked on. "Who decided that?_ _My attacks cannot reach thee? And who decided that? My blazing sun was swallowed up by a speck of darkness? And who decided that? The only one who gets to decide such things...is me._

 _Twitching, he rose._

 ** _"I DECIDE SUCH THINGS!"_**

* * *

 _"Right, then. It was nice getting to know you all, but this is where we part ways."_

 _Luffy whined._

 _"Awwww! C'mon, join my crew!"_

 _...excuse me?"_

* * *

 _"Oh, dear!" he feigned dismay. "Did you see that, Smoothie? My hand slipped!"_

 _Nami sweatdropped at the sight._

 _"Slipped, he says..._

* * *

 _"You chose to trample on the dreams of others. That is your sin. But I do not hate you, I feel only pity. Now..._

 _"Wait, wait, wait! Don't kill me! I-_

 ** _"FALL."_**

* * *

 _Big Mom scowled._

 _"What the hell are you up to, brat?"_

 _Naruto beamed and began to loosen his collar._

 _"Trust me, you're gonna love this. What you see now is my normal state. No powers, nothing at all."_

 _A grunt followed, his body blazing gold, standing in incandescent authority._

 _As he spoke, the ground began to shake underfoot. Stray pebbles rose into the air, held aloft by the sheer force of the heat he was radiating. Slowly his form began to writhe and twist, shining as though lit from within. A low roar built in the back of his throat, building in a rising crescendo that threatened to shake the land itself._

 _"And this is to go..._

 _Blue eyes blazed red._

 **R &R! =D**


	4. That I Must Bow So Low

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **Glad to see the Sun-Sun fruit received a positive reception! And yes, the Seven Deadly Sins and co. exist in this story...in a sense. Not sure if I'll have them appear or not. I'll leave that up to you guys and gals. As to Naruto's power...not sure if counts as a Paramecia or a Logia. Probably the former.**

 **Long story short, he's monstrously strong-and invincible for a whole minute-during the day.**

 **Someone also asked if there's a precedent for one World Noble killing another. Who knows? Mjosgard beat the CRAP out of Charloss and wasn't reprimanded. It stands to reason that the "punishment" doesn't apply to fellow World Nobles. And if it does, Naruto was careful enough to make certain no one would suspect him. After all, you can't interrogate a dead woman, much less a pile of ashes now, can you?**

 **He's not done yet...**

 **Minor typo last chapter, the hour timeskip at the start of THIS chapter; in other words, just how Naruto and co. got out of the auction house unscathed. Presently? They're hiding out in one of his little safehouses...with a few tag-alongs.**

 **You can tell I took great relish in kicking the crap out of a certain Yonko in this one...**

 **As ever, I own no associated quotes and references that may or may not be found within.**

 **Ah screw it, Xomniac gets full credit for the following line:**

 **"THE POWER OF SOGEKING COMPELS YOU!"**

 **You'll see what I mean~!**

 _"I've had a bit of an epiphany, you see. The system needs to change. Beginning with the World Nobles and the Four Emperors. Now, out of respect for your daughters and NOTHING else, I'll give you a choice. You can hand me that road Poneglyph and walk away from this fight unmolested. Or, and personally, I prefer this option...!" his lips drew back, exposing an almost shark-like smile, "You can be the absolute SOW that I know you to be and get in my way. But know this. I WILL be walking out of here with that damn stone one way or another; whether I walk out over your broken body is entirely up to you."_

 _"You? Defeat me? That pride of yours must've gone to your head! If you think for a SECOND I'll let you walk away in one piece-_

 _CRUNCH._

 _"Oh dear, did you drop a coin or something? Whyever are you on your knees, Big Mom?"_

 _~Sun vs Soul._

 **That I Must Bow So Low**

Zoro had seen many weapons in his days as a pirate hunter.

From towering broadswords to looming cannons; rapiers and whips and daggers all. He'd seen many tools of death and learned to defend himself against all of them, be they large or small. When one made a living hunting pirates, it paid to be aware of their weapons as much as their tactics; a lucky shot from a flintlock could kill as surely as a skilled blade. The reverse also applied. If you encountered an opponent significantly more skilled than yourself and were forced into battle, then the only course of action was to _surpass_ that self or die trying. In this way, Roronoa Zoro _-and the Strawhats themselves-_ had exceeded limits countless times in the course of the past few months.

The weapon before him made the swordsman wonder if he'd be surpassing them again soon.

Poised on the mantle overlooking his hearth, the ax seemed to radiate a faint glow as he looked on. A towering masterwork crafted from gilded gold and polished silver; t'was a work of art to any who beheld it. Even _he_ had to give its master credit. Damned thing certainly _looked_ large enough to do some damage...assuming someone managed to lift it. That Luffy and Usopp were currently attempting to do just that only made it all the more worrying. If that ax fell on either of them...

...well.

Now that he thought about it, that might actually be _funny._

"Oi, just what is this thing made of?!" Their captain complained, stubbornly tugging at the embedded weapon of mass destruction to no avail. No matter how far he stretched, the ax remained wedged against the stone. "Its not budging! Pull harder, Usopp!"

"I'm trying!" the sniper growled! "Jeez, how much does this thing weigh, ten tons?! Franky! Give us a hand, will ya?!"

"Gotcha! This'll be SUPER easy!"

"Thousand berries says he drops it." Sanji muttered aside as the crew watched them struggle.

To his chagrin, even Brook had chosen to lend his muscle-or a lack thereof-in an attempt to move the weapon.

For once, Roronoa found himself in complete agreement with the shit-cook.

"Heh." he smirked as an ever-eager Chopper joined the fray, " _Ten_ says it lands on his foot."

"I'll take that action!" Nami chimed in with a cherubic smile, holding up a fistful of berries. "Say, do you think that's solid gold?" she crooned, a line of drool leaking out of the corner of her mouth. "I bed it is. Maybe we can melt it down once they're done!"

"Gah!" the swordsman recoiled. "Where the hell did you even come from you damn sea-witch?!"

"I'm always ready when there's money to be had~!" she chirruped happily. "What's the matter? You _scaaaaared?"_

The mosshead bristled at the slight.

"I am _not_ scared. Just don't think its the best idea to fool with a Celestial Dragon's gold."

"Meep."

For a moment-just a sliver of a second-he almost though he'd gotten through to her. His words stole the proverbial wind right out of her sails; the light in her eyes dimmed and the slim girl slumped as a dark cloud fell over her head. Inwardly, he heaved a sigh of relief as much as exasperation. Only she would have the guts to try and steal something like that, but thankfully she seemed to have reigned herself in...

And then _someone_ had to muck it up.

"If Nami can move the damn thing, she's welcome to try!" Naruto's voice crowed from across the room where he seemed to be in deep discussion with a bemused Robin, "I haven't been able to melt it yet, but if you think she can...be my guest!"

Before Zoro could _strangle him_ the Noble returned his attention to their archaeologist.

"Now then, where were we?"

Robin offered a demure smile.

"I believe you were giving me a history lesson."

"Ah, yes." Blue eyes twinkled in silent scarlet relief. "I'll be happy to tell you the truth, but before I do, I really want to ought to warn you someone called "IM-Sama", or as I like to call them, the head bitch-

Whatever else he might've said found itself overriden by the Nami's delighted squeal.

"Seeeee~?" her eyes practically shone with glee as they turned back to him. "No harm done!"

"Fine, have it your way."

Nami didn't blur, she plain _vanished._

When next he saw her, she was doing her damndest to move that ax with all her might.

"HEAVE-HO!"

"I swear, one of these days I'm gonna-

Her grin widened imperceptibly, but it was enough.

"One more word and I'll add another billion to your debt~!

 _"Grrk!"_

The demonic smile that followed terrified the swordsman more than any opponent ever had before. Even the legendary "Hawk-Eyes" Mihawk paled in comparison to the sheer horror he now witnessed. When it came to anything gold or cash related, it was as though someone flipped a switch in their navigator. But this...this was new. Of course, none of this mattered to the damn curly-brow. As far as _he_ was concerned, the whole affair was just another day in the life of the crew!

"Ah, Nami-swan's so beautiful when she's gambling~!"

CLONK!

"Hai, hai! Get over here and pull, Sanji-kun!"

 _"Yes'm!"_

"Ha!" Franky's sudden, exultant cry distracted the remaining Strawhats. "Finally got the damn-OUCH!"

With a thunderous crunch-much to the cyborg's dismay- the gilded weapon dropped from the mantle and crushed his foot. A _normal human_ would've lost the limb outright. Franky wasn't that fortunate; in that though the ax crashed down against his toes, he was completely, painfully aware of the incredible weight now grinding against his ankle. As the swordsman looked on, their resident shipwright turned pale, his once healthy complexion rendered an ashen gray.

A moment of terrible, awful silence followed.

Nami winced. "Oh, jeez. That looks...

Then all hell broke loose.

 _"Owowowowow!"_ with that, speedo-clad-cyborg promptly began hopping on his good leg, squalling for all he was worth. "HEAVY! Way too damn heavy! Get it off! Somebody get it off! Get this thing OFFA ME RIGHT NOW! Who makes an ax like this?!"

Zoro merely grunted.

"I _did_ warn you...

A blur of gold flitted past him, granting the poor pervert's request.

Taking his gaze from their flailing shipwright, the swordsman turned to find their enigmatic host suddenly among them.

"No, no, no! Not like that! This is a one-handed ax." Naruto's admonished Franky, hoisting the seemingly immobile weapon over a broad shoulder in a single-handed grip. "It isn't _meant_ to be wielded with two hands. You've got to hold it like this, see? Care to try your luck, Zoro-kun?"

...go ahead." the swordsman challenged. "Throw that at me. See what happens."

Rather than take offense, the noble threw his head back and cackled.

"Ha! I _knew_ there was a reason I liked you! Such pride!"

At a glance the Celestial Dragon _seemed_ harmless enough, downright tame, even. Zoro knew better. He'd seen that towering titan back in the auction house. Watched him render Roswald little more than ash. Glimpsed the monster lurking behind the mask. Even now, holding that weapon aloft, he wasn't fooled. Celestial Dragon or not, their host was dangerous. Thus, only one question remained; was he on their side? He supposed they owed him the benefit of the doubt; after all, they had escaped from the auction house thanks in no small part to his own abilities. Rather, those of his allies. Of course, said allies were nowhere to be seen now that he actually wanted to _look_ for them...

Meanwhile, Luffy guffawed openly at the impressive-if simple-display of strength.

"Jeez, how are you lifting that thing, whiskers? Isn't it heavy?"

 _"Whiskers?"_

Naruto's mouth twitched into a barely discernible smile.

"Hmm? Heavy? Of course it's heavy. This here's none other than the divine ax, Rhitta." the blond murmured, tracing a hand lovingly across its one-handed hilt as he hefted the towering weapon. "It belonged to my master, and his mentor before him." a rare, humble flush colored his whiskered cheeks. "Suppose you could call it an heirloom of sorts. I only use it if its an absolute emergency." With nary an effort, he returned the almighty instrument of destruction to its perch. "Do be careful. Its weight is liable to crush you."

"Don't I know it!" Franky groaned, massaging his now-swollen foot.

"Aw," Luffy whined, "You're not gonna show us how it works?"

Naruto offered a surprisingly patient smile in response.

"Its...not exactly a subtle weapon, ya know?" shaking himself, he returned to the topic at hand. "In any case, you're more than welcome to hide out here until this blows over, but I'd understand if you refused. You've got that meeting in Grove Thirteen, after all, but I'd advise caution nonetheless." a lone finger rose, idly scratching his chin. "Celestial Dragons aren't very well liked around these parts. An admiral is sure to come howling for your heads even if I try running interference."

"Pssh, how bad can an Admiral possibly-

Zoro regretted those words the moment the left his mouth.

For the first time since they'd met him, Naruto actually _growled._ The once comfortable temperature spiked for a brief moment and a nearby bookcase burst into flame. Sputtering, the blond hastily rounded on the burning piece of furniture and snuffed it out before turning to face them once more.

One predator glowered at another and neither yielded.

"Listen, Roronoa!" the latter bit out around a scowl, making his voice heard to all parties present. "An Admiral is _death._ As you lot are now? They're beyond you. If you ever find yourself unfortunate enough to meet one, you have two choices. Run. Or. Die _._ They are, each of them, a force of nature unto themselves. One that even _I_ don't trifle with lightly...

As quickly as it had come, his searing expression vanished.

"Well, except the icy bastard." he beamed sunnily. "Honestly, I'm just a bad match-up for poor Kuzan and he _hates_ it...

Robin facepalmed.

"You _would_ befriend that man, wouldn't you?"

"Why, of course I would." Naruto blinked in confusion at what he no-doubt perceived as an obvious question. "Admiral or not, if I ask, he has to do whatever I say, remember? Thanks to him, I got a head-start on learning Rokushiki _years_ ago. Remind me to tell you about the time I made him hunt for ingredients that didn't exist, or when I sicced him on a troop of slavers. Oh!" an almost euphoric expression dawned on his whiskered features. _"Or_ that one day I goaded 'im into freezing the whole of Mariejois solid. Good times! Then there was that once incident with a pineapple...

"Yohohohoho!" Brook guffawed. "That sounds like an interesting story!"

"Pffft!" Zoro clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh that threatened to burst free.

Meanwhile, a glint of comprehension dawned in their archaeologist's aqua orbs, heralded by a small smile. Tch. She wasn't actually...she was. He'd actually made her _laugh_ with that last remark.

...I retract my statement."

"What can I say?" the Noble shrugged. "I'm known for being unruly. Isn't that right, Brulee?"

"Ah, but of course~!" a new voice sang. "I wouldn't be flattered if you didn't think so highly of my skills, dear!"

A nearby mirror pulsed with motion and light, then quite suddenly, someone stepped through its surface to join them.

...I wasn't praising you, but _-fine, just roll with it."_

Once more they found themselves face to face with a pale woman of regal bearing. Tall, but not nearly-so-much as Smoothie, she nevertheless loomed over them in her white dress and found herself forced to crouch lest she dash her head against the ceiling. By comparison to the towering long-legged woman this woman was slender, almost willowy in her demeanor. Yet her gentle golden eyes and kind smile belied her sudden intrusion. Bar and a _slightly_ red nose, and her own pallor, the woman's sole blemish was a pale scar leading across her cheek, where it seemed someone had tried to take a knife to her face only to be stopped before they could do the deed. Zoro grunted. Anyone who could bear such a wound with pride was at least worthy of _some_ recognition in his book.

"Wiwiwiwiwi!" her odd laugh rang out, happy and lilting. "Hello, Strawhats! You're all looking lively as ever, I see!"

"Ah!" Luffy accused, thrusting out a damning finger. "Its the crazy mirror woman from before!"

The violette arched a slender brow.

...my, you _are_ a rude one, aren't you?"

Of course, the damn cook chose that moment to combust.

"OI, LUFFY! Don't insult a _lady_ like that! You wanna eat shit for dinner?!"

 _"Mellorine~!"_

Nami's climatact arced out like a boomerang.

"Down, lover boy!"

As he watched the lovestruck cook collapse into a boneless heap, Zoro finally realized what had been bothering him for the better part of an hour now. A niggling doubt that had been preying at his every thought from the moment they'd set foot in their host's hideout. For all its sprawling expanse, it was woefully understaffed. Vacant, even. For all the many mirrors lining the walls and ceiling, there was scarcely a soul to be seen within or without. And yet he could feel dozens of eyes upon him; as though there were an army waiting in the wings, ready to leap out at the slightest provocation.

 _'Just who is this guy?'_

"You've got some strange underlings." he promptly said as much.

"Not underlings, my boy!" a lone finger wagged at him in reproach. "Everyone you see-and don't see!-here is free to leave at any time. I don't keep slaves. Friends are priceless. If its Smoothie you're looking for, she's busy running a misinformation campaign about that auction house debacle. Pudding's helping her. They ought to divert some of your pursuers." for all his rambling, a thoughtful expression dawned on the blond's visage. "What? You look like you just ate a hag fish."

...you really aren't like that Charloss idiot, are you?"

"You wound me, sir!" Naruto sniffed in mild-if feigned-offence at that remark. "I can state with the _utmost_ certainty that I'm superior to that little fop in every way. Its my goal to help wherever I'm needed, and barring that, help people _help themselves_."

"Is that why you let Caimie and Hacchi go ahead with that old man?"

 _"Bingo!"_ strong hands clapped together with a sharp pop. "Ordinarily, I'd gladly tell you all about "Ray" and who he was...but that's not my tale to tell. I'll leave that story to him." There was something decidedly prideful about that smile just now, as though he were reliving a poignant memory...

"You're spacing out."

The older man blinked, a look of mild amusement flashing across his visage.

Zoro's voice plucked him out of the memory

 _"So I am!"_

"Wait," Usopp piped up, "So the mirror you tossed us all into back there...that was your ability?"

Brulee chose that moment to belt out a laugh. "Other way around!"

"Oh, heavens no." a tan hand waved in dismissal. "That's Brulee's trick, not mine. I ate the Sun-Sun fruit."

"Of course, that makes perfect-THE SUN?!" the sniper's tongue all but flew from his mouth. "Are you kidding me?!"

"Why so serious?" the blond tilted his head aside, regarding them like an inquisitive fox. "The sun stands above all." a lone finger rose, indicating the ceiling. "Life. Plasma. Energy. Without it our world would be little more than a frozen ball of ice. Is it so hard to believe that there would be a power related to it?" a lone finger rose to make his point. "In a sense, its similar to the Mera Mera no Mi, but-

"Well-GAH! LUFFY! WHAT THE HELL?!"

Said sniper grunted as a rubbery hand closed around the back of his head. Said hand immediately forced him down and out as one _Monkey D. Luffy_ leapfrogged over him to land before Naruto. Surprisingly, the startled noble stood his ground as their energetic leader faced and him head on. The intensity of his gaze drew concerned looks, but no one dared to challenge him...

"Oi, whiskers! You ate a devil fruit?! THAT'S AWESOOOME!"

...ha?"

Everyone promptly face-vaulted.

"LUFFY!" Nami roared! "Don't scare us like that!"

"I believe I just stated that, yes." the blond replied patiently, climbing back to his feet. "Is that a problem?"

"Shishishi!" their captain laughed, palming his hat, 'Course not! You're a nice guy, aren't ya? But," A finger ground itself against his temple, his face reddening with intense thought. "Sooooo...does that mean your power's the same as Ace, then? Like flames, or something?"

"Firefist Ace?" Naruto blinked. "No, not quite. Frankly, mine isn't all its cracked up to be."

"Why not?"

Naruto chuckled.

"Well...there's a handicap."

Here, he looked almost sheepish.

"Unlike my...brethren," he bit out the word as though it were a curse, "These robes aren't just for show. Trust me when I say you want me to keep them on. They keep my powers restrained. Without them, well...we'd all be in for a bad time. At least until night." to emphasize this waved his long sleeves and briefly loosened his collar; the act of which sent his musculature rippling and bulging beneath the thin cloak. Odd. He hadn't been that built a second ago...or had he? Zoro found himself regarding the wayward warrior with renewed interest. Rather than dismiss him as a foolish fop not worthy of his time or attention, he felt a telltale prickle of danger. Clearly the blond was hiding something...but what?

Despite her reservations, Robin found herself quirking a brow.

"And? What happens if you take that suit off?"

Naruto's sunny smile turned predatory.

"You'd regret it, my dear."

It was the way he'd spoken just now; declared them with such incandescent authority that the historian found herself momentarily taken aback. Perhaps it was the archaic way in which he'd addressed her; but there wasn't so much as a glimmer of hesitation in those bright blue eyes. He truly believed ever word he'd spoken. An impossible aura seemed to stem from his shoulders, and for a moment the air surrounding them turned oppressive. Stifling. Her very felt super-heated again, but this time it didn't relent in the least, boiling her lungs. As abruptly as the heat had come, so too did it vanish, leaving her throat dry and parched. Yet that same heat lit a fire in her, one of quiet, burning curiosity...and something else. Something she chose not to give voice to.

 _Hmm._

Massaging her throat, the archaeologist shot him an intent look.

"Sir...no, Naruto-san...who are you, really?"

By way of answering, he took a seat.

"I SECOND THAT MOTION!" Usopp declared loudly, swinging a gavel that he'd procured from gods-knew-where, onto a nearby table. "How do you know so much about us? We've never met you, but you know things you have no business knowing! If I didn't know better, I'd say you were watching us, but that...

Crimson eyes narrowed.

 _ **...not another word, long nose."**_

His words dissolved into a strangled squawk as that flat stare fixed him in its sights.

"HYEEEEEEK!" with a squeal, the warrior of the sea snapped a crucifix off his belt and flung it up in the face of the burning _demon_ looming over him. "Out of this house! Out of this house! The power of Sogeking compels you! THE POWER OF SOGEKING COMPELS YOU! PLEASE DON'T COOK MEEEEEEEEEE~!"

Remarkably, he found that the older man proved amenable to his pleas.

A small sigh pushed itself past the man's mouth as he pushed himself to his feet and stood.

"I'll be honest; I'm many things. None of which are a threat to any of _you,_ rest assured." Before anyone could attempt to probe him further, Brulee glided to his side and murmured into his ear. Zoro watched them keenly; and as such, he beheld the moment his expression changed; saw saw that minute grimace in his face when he reached for another of those full-length mirrors. "Unfortunately it seems that we're out of time. It was nice getting to know you all, but I'm afraid this is where we part ways."

Sanji scoffed. "No complaints here!"

"What, already?! Why're ya leaving?" Luffy whined.

A small, bemused smile plucked at the blond's visage.

"I _was_ in the middle of something before all hell broke loose, if you recall." he reminded him gently, poking their captain's shoulder with an exposed finger. "Besides, don't you have an appointment to keep? It would be rude to keep Rayleigh waiting. If fate is kind, we'll meet again-

 _"Screw that, join my crew!"_

Naruto stopped short.

...excuse me?"

"You can...oh! I know! You've got an ax! You can be our ax...er...guy." the rubberman grasped, taking a stab in the dark. "That's a thing, right?"

It took every fiber of Naruto's being to keep his face impassive; to not drop that stoic mask and laugh until he was hoarse.

"And why, pray tell, do you want me to join?"

"Because you look cool!"

"THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THAT SENTENCE!"

A beat of silence followed.

Zoro groaned. "That absolute idiot...!"

Nami remained of the same mind. "Of all the people?!"

"We are NOT taking a Celestial Dragon! Usopp shrieked. "No way, no how!"

"I don't care who he is, I'm not cooking for that damn bastard! He courted Robin-chwan!"

Chopper managed a pitiful squeak. "Scary! Celestial Dragons are way too scary! I vote noooo~!"

"It might be interesting to... _deepen_ what we know of our history." Robin purred in a dangerously sweet voice.

"Big Sis might be right," Franky caught the innuendo full on and grinned as he scratched at his tri-pointed chin, "Why not-OUCH! Why'd ya kick me for, ya damn cook?!"

"Yohohoho! I say yes!" Brook chorused the shipwright, performing a merry twirl in place despite the ire his statement earned him. "And Captain-sana! That was such a shock! I think my heart may have stopped! Although I have no heart!"

"Skull shock!"

"DENIED!" Usopp squawked, crossing his arms in an emphatic X-formation. "All three of you!"

Naruto snickered into his palm.

"Skull, joke...?"

Silence fell.

"Pfft...

Brulee groaned and slapped her face.

"Are you happy now?" she groaned, bringing a finely manicured hand to her pale visage. "Look! _Look_ what you've done! You've gone and wound him up; now I have to put up with him for the next month. He'll never stop laughing about this until the day he dies."

In the end, that last remark proved the straw that broke the camel's back.

"BAHAHAHAHAHA!" in a singular burst of bowel-wrenching laughter, the blond flopped to the floor on his back and cackled like a mad hyena. As the Strawhats-plus Brulee-looked on his limber legs kicked at the air! "I give up! I can't take it any more! Its been ages since I've seen that kind of enthusiasm! What a world!"

In a flash, he bolted upright and snatched Rhitta from the mantle.

"Why, I would like nothing better!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"HOWEVER!" a lone finger rose, cutting their captain off. "I'm afraid I can't. Not yet, at any rate, if at all. I Oh! And a word of warning. I don't know who they're sending after you lot, but I can at least give you a warning. If its someone in red, that's Akainu. Your best bet is to fool him and toss his ass into the sea, if you can. If its a prick wearing yellow...well...just don't engage and stay the hell away. And if by some god-forsaken twist of fate you run into Aokiji again-

"AND HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT?"! Usopp wailed! "Is he an evil spirit or something?!"

The shit-eating grin said otherwise.

"Tell him I said _fuck 'em._ Should piss him off enough for him to come after me. Regardless, I'll try and return here in a few hours."

With a low bow, he pulled up the nearest mirror.

"Until we meet again!"

Humming to himself, he stepped through its reflective surface...

* * *

 _(...Scene Break/Several Hours Later...)_

* * *

 _...and landed neatly upon another island._

 _"ThisisabadideahorribleideaohgodwearegoingtoDIE!"_

Brulee's sharp, frantic breaths rose in a sharp, pained crescendo at his back as the world of mirrors fell away and the entirety of Totto Land unfolded around them in all its glory. Not the word he'd use. Naruto felt his lip curl in quiet derision at the sight. There was just something...off-putting about Big Mom's home territory. Perhaps it was the singing flowers. Or the trees. Or the fact that almost everything was _walking around with a life of its own._ Hmm. Probably the latter. Some things were simply not meant to be seen by mortal eyes, and this was one of them.

Certainly not the sight of two people _stepping through a mirror._

"Pardon the intrusion." he hummed to the dumbstruck guards, sketching another low bow. "We'll get out of your way."

They'd scarcely raised their weapons before a hand knifed into their necks, striking them down.

A string of wordless gibberish followed them.

"Easy now, we worked so hard to get you Awakened for a reason, didn't we?" he soothed at Brulee, not looking back as he attempted to push himself through a nearby door. When the latter didn't yield, Rhitta descended in a golden arc and cut a way through. "We've been walking for hours now, so I'm not quite at my peak, but if worse comes to worst, I'll fight her. Besides, its not as though she'd be actively looking for us, right?"

"You're definitely underestimating Mama!"

"Maybe! Maybe not." the blond shrugged and chose a random path through the one of the castle's many corridors. "I just want to see her Road Poneglyph, frankly. If it works out, even better."

"And why are you so eager to see it...?"

His smile grew imperceptibly.

"That'd be a secret!"

"...I've fallen in love with a battle maniac, haven't I?" the violette groaned.

"Yup~!"

Regardless of her own fears, Brulee somehow managed to master them as they continued their trek unmolested. No guards emerged to challenge them. No alarms were raised. Indeed, her mother's castle seemed almost pitifully empty by comparison. Where was everyone? Even if Mama had gone out to sea, surely she would've left at least some of her forces behind...right? Was this a trick? A trap of some sort? Or had they gotten inordinately lucky? If Mama and her siblings truly _had_ all gone on a raid, they might be able to get off scott free-

She should've known better.

"Found you~!"

"Gack!"

Her mother wasn't hard to miss in a crowd. Towering over nearly everyone and everything, ever denizen of her so-called "paradise" paled in comparison to her. With the loyal Zeus and Prometheus ever at her side, she was impossible to miss. Even after all these years, she recognized her in an instant. One moment the corridor was empty; the next a towering _something_ burst through an adjacent wall and brought half the room down on her heads. Instinct compelled her to cover her head even as the ceiling crumbled, exposing them to the waning light of day. Oh. Oh, dear. Too late she realized her peril as she felt the heat of the late afternoon warm her visage; now she wasn't trapped with one monster...

 _...but two of them!_

"Ah." The Unruly Dragon blinked, looking up. "Seems you were expecting us after all."

A low, vicious laugh rumbled through the chateau.

"Mamamamama! You've got some nerve coming back here, brat! In my own home, no less! Did you think I wouldn't be ready for you?! And Bruleeeeee~?"

That soulless gaze alighted upon her, and something in the young woman quailed at the sight.

"Don't think you'll be leaving here alive, you damn traitor!"

Her very soul quivered.

"M-Mother...

Naruto's hand thrust itself before her visage.

"I'm afraid you have no say in that." he declared sunnily. "After all, she despises your very existence. What kind of mother are you?"

A wild, glazed expression rounded on the unassuming blond.

"Now, your lifespan is mine! LIFE OR-

A lone iris turned to regard her.

 _"You will be silent,_ Big Mom." As quickly as it had come, her fiance's good mood vanished. "I'm not here for your fat-ass. I came to see your Poneglyph. Now, would you kindly move?"

Brulee clamped a large hand over her mouth to stifle a horrified squeak.

Her mother's reaction soon proved itself slightly more...profound by comparison.

"WHY YOU-?! Never! I'd sooner die than let you have a look at that piece after what you-

"Ah, ah, ah!" a finger wagged dangerously, hovering over the Den-Den-Mushi that had seemingly just _appeared_ in his off hand. "You lay one finger on me and you'll have three admirals to deal with. Hmm. Maybe I should just press this button anyway? It'd be worth it to see that ugly mug of yours ground into paste. Or...

As she looked on, his body began to radiate fresh heat.

"Maybe I should just do it myself? By the way!"

A single finger rose in a salute.

"Pudding says hi!"

That tore it.

 _ **"DIE!"**_

Charlotte Linlin's fist descended in a flaming haze, only to find it stonewalled against the impenetrable wall that was his ax. A flick of his wrist sent the mighty Emperor stumbling back, her jaw aghast. Even as she reached for Zeus, a wave of hot air stalled her assault, grinding her massive body back half a step. Incredulous, she snarled at the ax-wielding warrior and struck again, only to find herself rebuffed for the third time. What madness was this? How could a mere _runt_ be this powerful?

"What the hell are you up to, brat? You weren't this strong the last time we met!"

Rhitta swung up to alight upon the blond's shoulder once more, looming larger than its master.

"Of course not. Allow me to explain," Naruto beamed and began to painstakingly loosen his collar with his free hand.

"Trust me, you're going to love this." he crooned, eyes blazing. "What you see now is my normal state. No powers, nothing at all."

A grunt followed, his body blazing gold, standing in incandescent authority.

"This is what I look like when I loosen my restraints."

As he spoke, the ground began to shake underfoot. Stray pebbles rose into the air, held aloft by the sheer force of the heat he was radiating. Slowly his form began to writhe and twist, shining as though lit from within. A low roar built in the back of his throat, building in a rising crescendo that threatened to shake the land itself. Brulee shrank back, grimacing as that golden gaze briefly found hers, warm and reassuring.

"And this, my dear, is to go...

Blue eyes blazed red.

In a heartbeat, the blond's body exploded with golden light. Though the sun had long since reached its zenith, his body reacted to daylight explosively. In a heartbeat he gained fresh muscle and mass that simply _hadn't existed before,_ rendering the upper half of his robes little more than torn rags. The sound of sundered fabric writhed in Brulee's ears as his body completely the transformation, tendrils of wild plasma still clinging to his shoulders like nascent child clinging to their father. He could never truly be taller than the behemoth that was her mother, but he stood close.

Terribly, horribly close indeed.

...even further beyond."

He merely smiled.

"I've had a bit of an epiphany, you see. The system needs to change. Beginning with the World Nobles and the Four Emperors. Now, out of respect for your daughters and NOTHING else, I'll give you a choice. You can hand me that road Poneglyph and walk away from this fight unmolested. Or, and personally, I prefer this option...!" his lips drew back, exposing an almost shark-like smile, "You can be the absolute SOW that I know you to be and get in my way. But know this. I WILL be walking out of here with that damn stone one way or another; whether I walk out over your broken body is entirely up to you."

Despite the brief pang of fear she felt, the Emperor sneered.

"You? Defeat me? That pride of yours must've gone to your head! If you think for a SECOND I'll let you walk away in one piece-

CRUNCH.

A fist slammed against her stomach then all she knew was light and sound and _pain._

She felt, rather than saw herself crumble; her mighty strength abandoning her as a haki-clad fist ground against her ribs. Unable to defy gravity she succumbed to it at last; felled like an ancient oak, tumbling to her hands and knees. No! This wasn't over! He'd just gotten a lucky hit in! Yes, that was it! Once she found her footing, she'd _feast_ on that damn brat's lifespan. Then Brulee's! Smoothie! Pudding, too! She'd devour them all, make them _pay_ for ever daring to defy her...

A booted head settled atop her skull, obliterating that train of thought before it could truly be born.

With a snarl, she raised her gaze to glower at the one responsible.

That peerless, burning figure gazed down at her.

"Oh dear," an ancient, imperious voice rumbled in her ears. "Did you drop a coin or something?" His tone had changed; as though a great king had deigned to speak with her, deeming her little more than a pauper in his presence. "Whyever are you on your knees, Big Mom? If you will not rise of your own volition, then I shall simply make you."

 _"Don't get cocky!"_

With all her might, the Emperor struggled against and managed to move the boot pressing down on her skull. Relishing the momentary look of surprise that flitted across his whiskered features, the towering pinkette threw her opponent off and forced herself to her feet, looming large over him. Ugly thoughts writhed and twisted in her skull as that smile returned, firm and unassailable. She hated it. Loathed that damn smile of his, that confidence-arrogance!-that made him think he was oh-so superior! Not to her! Never her! She'd crush him!"

"Damned upstart!" she bellowed! "This isn't over! I'm going to destroy you and all you hold dear!"

"Ah, but that is the sin of pride, young lady." Naruto tsked softly. "Now, repent!"

Rhitta descended on her shoulder with a mournful howl.

Belatedly, Linlin realized she'd been wrong.

She thought she'd felt pain, before.

 _Now there was pain._

 **A/N: Ah, I'm so tired from writing, I feel as though my eyes might fall out!**

 **...although I have no eyes to speak of.**

 **SKULL JOKE! YOHOHOHOHO!**

 **Big Mom just got sucker punched. Again, I CANNOT overstate the hatred my team and I feel for her. We're not biased of course, we simply don't see her changing her ways at this point. As a child, she might've had some redeeming factors. But now? As a sixty-something pirate who KILLS HER OWN CHILDREN, steals the lifespan of others, and acts like a damn brat? not to mention is absolutely batshit insane? Again, this woman eats people. She also tortures her children. In the anime at this point, she's literally going on a RAMPAGE over a fucking cake; and killed another of her children just to get at it.**

 **CAKE!**

 **And we're supposed to feel BAD for her at this point in the story?**

 **Nope.**

 **No pity here.**

 **But this is far from over!**

 **I've flat out said it, but I'll say it again: Brulee is in possession of an AWAKENED version of her Mira Mira no mi. In short? If you have a large enough mirror, she can get there. Naturally, this applies to islands she's been to/is aware of. For example, she can't get to Zou, because she doesn't KNOW about it. The same would apply to Raftel, obviously.**

 **Alas, she can't _completely_ cut down travel time when its a distance.**

 **Again, Naruto isn't the have-all-be-all. He can be overpowered. He can loose. Kizaru-if he actually dried-could land some dangerously fatal blows. Someone like Kaidou would give him a HARD fight. Don't even get me started on Whitebeard or Shanks. But let's face it, Big Mom is just a BAD matchup; doesn't matter if its mochi or candy, you bet your ass the sun will BURN that shit to the ground.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would Ya Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential ones at that!**

 **You'll see 'em soon!**

 **(Previews!)**

 _Aokiji twitched._

 _"You can't be serious."_

 _"I'm entirely serious! Pedal faster, ice-head! We've got a lot of ground to cover!"_

 _"You can literally fly on that sun of yours. Why do you need me to-_

 _"MUSH!"_

* * *

 _...I remember you."_

 _"On behalf of my forebears..._

 _Worldlessly, he knelt, no, bowed before her._

 _...I've come to beg your forgiveness. And with gifts."_

 _Despite the trauma clawing at her, Hancock arched an eyebrow._

 _"Speak swiftly," she growled, "Lest I change my mind and do something...foolish."_

 _His head rose incrementally. "What would you do if I told you I wasn't your enemy, Hancock?"_

 _Her heart lurched painfully against her breast, shrieking. "I would not grace your ears with hearsay."_

 _"And I did not come here to waste your time." The Unruly Dragon retorted firmly. "I find actions speak louder than words. Behold!"_

 _With a flourish the Warrior of the Sun reared back and seized the tarp, unfurling the contents of the what she'd assumed to be a mere box. It was not what she'd expected. Heavy bars greeted her gaze, reinforced steel so impenetrable that nothing short of monstrous strength could ever hope to break them. Certainly not the cowering captives contained within. Bound and gagged, the three of them flinched away from the light, whimpering in distress as their naked forms were exposed to the light of the throne room._

 _The blood drained from her face._

 _She knew these men._

 _All too well._

 _"My gift to you." the blond declared. "Free of charge. I give you those who wronged you and your sisters so long ago. I give you retribution..._

 _Bowing, he stepped aside, even as she rose._

 _Three aged figures cowered in terror._

 ** _...I give you vengeance."_**

* * *

 _"Zehahahahaha! Look at you! The spitting image of that man! What's a Tenryubito doing in uncharted waters?"_

 _Pudding facepalmed._

 _"Don't do it. He's trying to goad you."_

 _Naruto didn't reply._

 _"Y'know, I've been thinking." as they looked on, the portly man thumbed his chin, seemingly ignorant of his own peril; or perhaps he simply didn't care. "That power of yours; its pretty damn scary. Makes you just about invincible at high noon. Almost as dangerous as the one **I'm** after. Maybe I should just take yours, too? Which do you think is stronger? The sun? Or the darkness."_

 _His shadow loomed large, swelling over the island._

 _"So, whaddya say, runt?"_

 _CRUNCH._

 _...you would do well to retract those words, Blackbeard."_

 _"Careful now! What would your pals say if they found out you tried to take back Roger's son?"_

* * *

 _"Infidel, infidel! How dare you-_

 _CRACK._

 _"Oh, heavens me! My hand slipped again!_

* * *

 _"Jeez, Escanor really took in a troublesome brat, didn't he, Cap'n?"_

* * *

 _Dragon laughed._

 _"What do you propose?"_

 _A robed hand extended in friendship._

 _"Nothing short of an alliance, of course!"_

 **R &R~!**


	5. Only a Cat of a Different Coat

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **Over EIGHT thousand words for you all! Hope you like it!**

 **I worked my ass off on this chapter and I'm beat!**

 **Glad to see the Sun-Sun fruit received a positive reception! And yes, the Seven Deadly Sins and co. exist in this story...in a sense. Not sure if I'll have them appear or not. I'll leave that up to you guys and gals. As to Naruto's power...not sure if counts as a Paramecia or a Logia. Probably the former.** **Long story short, he's monstrously strong-and invincible for a whole minute-during the day. At night he lacks this monstrous strength, but he can still put up a fight.**

 **Now for your questions!**

 **Q: Naruto with Escanor's powers?! Hell yes! Does it affect his personality?**

 **A: Yes, almost dangerously so. He even admits it in this chapter. Escanor-and by definition the power he inherited from him-rubbed off on him in a big way, to the extent that he sometimes can't control himself. When he's in his normal/contained state he's perfectly pleasant, but once you get him going...**

 **Q: Awful lot of previews you've got there. Which ones can we expect to see?**

 **A: As I said, they're potential previews. Just because you see them doesn't mean they'll all show up in one chapter. We'll see some in this one, others later down the line.**

 **Q: Just what "business" was Naruto up to? Or was that a throwaway line?**

 **A: To summarize? He wants to tear down the World Government, but from within. He's quite active in that regard. To that effect he's willing to go to extremes and recruit allies wherever he can fine them. This chapter goes more into depth with his plans.**

 **Q: Just how strong is Naruto anyway? Yonko level? Admiral? We need some stats here!**

 **A: Naruto's a tough cookie, but he's not invincible. If he tangled with Kaido or Whitebeard he'd likely loose. Big Mom is a just BAD matchup, one in his favor. She literally wielded a sun for crying out loud! For someone with the Sun-Sun fruit, that's an almost perpetual source of energy. It doesn't help that Linlin isn't aware of this.**

 **Q: He's stalling Big Mom while Brulee copies her Poneglyph, isn't he?**

 **A: It was basically hinted, yes. I do apologize for Pudding's lack of screentime, but she's busy with Smoothie at the moment.**

 **Q: I'm sensing some history here with the Big Mom Pirates and Hancock...I smell a story!**

 **A: Yes, Naruto has a horrible past but we'll get into that later.**

 **Fair warning, this chapter gets intense for many reasons.**

 **Both in terms off battling, and emotions of alike.**

 **First off, we're wrapping up the fight with Big Mom.**

 **Second!**

 **The Amazon Lily bit will cover part of this chapter AND** **the next chapter.**

 **Now, then!**

 **BACK TO THE BRAAAAAAaWL BABY~!**

 _"And who are you then, knave, that I must bow so low?"_

 _"Only a cat of a different coat, Boa Hancock. And please, don't bow. It doesn't suit you."_

 _"Not another word you filthy-_

 _-Monster? Is that what you're going to call me? Funny you should mention that. Y'see, monsters are like dragons. Some are just born rotten. Others do all that they can do be good, upstanding beings. They hide their teeth. Shed their claws. Tear off their wings. They tuck in their tails and try to live a normal life, to start a family. And for the most part, they're very good at hiding what they truly are. It's only when you give one a reason to fight, motivation and drive, the will to do defend, to do harm... **that's** when you find the monster."_

 _~An Empress and a Dragon._

 **Only a Cat of a Different Coat**

So.

 _This_ was pain, then.

She'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

Big Mom-no, _Charlotte Linlin-_ opened her eyes to find herself lying face-up in a small pool of her own blood. Blinking, she regarded the scarlet stain in dubious disbelief. Thick fingers rose to palm the gaping tear in her shoulder, and once more came away crimson. _What?_ When did that happen? Her collarbone gibbered in an unuttered shriek, a vicious red haze draping itself over her vision. She hadn't experienced such agony in _years;_ not since she'd fought with that _thing_ and lived to tell the tale. Yet here she lay, wounded once again. Belatedly she realized what had happened; she must've blacked out for an instant; why else would she be on the floor staring at someone-

No.

As she looked on a fresh wave of heat assaulted her senses, evaporating the bloody puddle and choking her thoughts in their cradle before it could be born. For a fleeting moment she almost thought she was looking at her son, Oven. But that didn't make any sense. Her son could never strike her-much less wound her. Rather, the scorching blaze belonged to another. It eclipsed the powers of the Netsu-Netsu no mi so utterly that they were naught but a pale shade by comparison. If anything, it felt as if she were standing on the surface of the sun itself, her very blood boiling in its veins...

She wasn't prepared for the laughter.

 _"You're playing with the big boys, now, my dear."_

Light danced off the hardened plane of his scarred chest, exposing a tanned torso bristling with strength. The tattered remnants of a white robe clung to his shoulders, shredding themselves even as she looked on. Pearly white teeth gleamed out at her in a wide smile-no, a sneer!-their owner looming large over her prone form. Though the sun had long since reached its zenith, though tongues of flame scrawled across the sky, he stood proud and tall before her.

A lone finger rose, indicating the ruined chateau around them.

"Are you ready to concede defeat now, Linlin?" Naruto hummed. "Or shall we continue?"

"You?!"

Blue eyes crinkled slightly.

 _"Me."_

Memory rushed back to Big Mom in a red tide and she burst upright with a snarl. Napoleon leaped from its place atop her head, elongating into a massive blade in a matter of moments. If the intruder was at all fazed by the sudden metamorphosis he did little to show it. He didn't even deign to defend himself; instead he nimbly leaped away as the blade bifurcated the table he'd alighted upon. This time, there could be no mistaking the gleam of pride lurking in those smug sapphire slits.

"Come now, you'll never catch me like this!"

Roaring, she bounded after him.

"SHUT! UP!"

A haki-clad limb slammed down on the interloper's shoulder and to her dismay accomplished next-to-nothing; in retaliation the Celestial Dragon's ax arced upward and delivered a stinging retort across her clenched fist. Two fingers flopped away from her outstretched palm, the severed digits trailing crimson blood as they arced across the chateau. Then the ensuing heat engulfed her remaining fingers-and her arm alongside them-in blazing flame, flinging the stubborn Yonkou to the ground in a shrieking heap. The burning man looked on for but a moment before averting his eyes in mild annoyance.

"Oh, dear. I could've gone without seeing _that."_

"Owowoowowowowow! Hot!" she wailed, flailing her legs! "You bastard!"

"Please, don't squirm about like that." he sighed. "Your movements are unsightly...like a cockroach."

A muscle jumped in Linlin's jaw.

To be mocked was one thing; but being batted around the chateau as though she were a mere lightweight...it broke something in her. Perhaps it was her pride. To have gone unchallenged for all these years, only to have this upstart swoop in not once, but _twice_ it was galling. Perhaps it was his attitude; that indefatigable smile persisting in spite of all her efforts to tear it down. Nothing she threw his way did anything to shake him. It reminded her of _that man,_ of almost eerily so. No, she realized with a start; it was his gaze.

 _She couldn't stand those damn eyes._

"Don't think you can run away, braaaaaaat!" foam frothed at her mouth as she doused the flames and rose, eyes spinning. "I'll have your lifespan if its the last thing I do! Prometheus!"

In a fit of pique, she reached for her sun, thinking nothing more than to render her foe into ashes.

He did not answer her call.

Pudgy fingers closed around empty air, experiencing the tingling current of Zeus rather than the blazing radiance of her favored tool. What nonsense was this? Baffled she stretched out her arm once more in a vain attempt to scorch the foe before her. To her dismay, it never came. The mass of compressed flames did not answer her call, rather, it seemed curiously absent. As she looked on a rush of flame obscured the whiskered warrior from view, forcing her to fling her wounded arm up and avert her gaze lest she be blinded.

"You have no one to blame but yourself."

 _'What did he mean by that? No matter! I'll just-_

With a growl she struggled to rise once more, wincing in the face of this sudden inferno.

The sight that awaited her stilled her blood.

"How very foolish of you." that rich, resonant voice lamented as something-someone-shifted in her peripheral vision. "Here I was running low on energy and what did you do? You pulled out your trump card so early in our fight. I expected more of an Emperor. Foolish indeed. Were you not aware of my ability?" though she strained her gaze, she still couldn't bring herself to stare overlong at the towering monstrosity. "I suppose that's to be expected. Still, I should thank you." that broad-shouldered specter shifted as she looking on, a large hand brandishing that unholy weapon with gusto. "I hadn't expect to acquire a portable power source today. Rest assured, I'll make good use of him."

A hand rose and sure enough, there he was.

It didn't take Linlin long to put the pieces together.

"Huh? Prometheus?! Why...what are you doing over there?"

"Is it not obvious?" the dulcet tones of the Unruly Dragon crooned at her. "He's abandoned you; he did so the moment I wounded you. Just as your children have. How unfortunate that they're too afraid of _their own mother_ to even think of helping her." Something wild blazed in those eyes, only to tamp down at the last instant. "Ah, but back to the matter of your pet. While your creations may be incapable of _physically_ harming your body, they fear death just as much as any living thing, if not moreso."

The sun quailed slightly as she spoke.

"Sorry, Mama...

"Be a dear and go support Brûlée, would you?" Naruto hummed. "She should be nearly finished with her task right about now, but it wouldn't hurt for her to have reinforcements."

"I'm not sure I should-

Slitted eyes found his. "Do you want to die, then?"

"Yeek! No sir, right away, sir!"

 _"You traitor!"_

"Such a harsh word." again, the sun-warrior scoffed as the sun scurried across the horizon. "A piece of your soul he may well be, but even he knows when he's beaten...

His lips quirked, just so.

 _...unlike his master."_

With that, her temper slipped its fraying leash and roared to the fore. Mad, gibbering fury held sway, obliterating all thought. A rage beyond that of her hunger pangs consumed her, devouring every scrap of sanity it could find, leaving behind naught but all-devouring rage. The act of simply killing him could no longer satisfy her. Not just his lifespan; but all those he held dear. Anyone and everything he'd ever known and loved. She'd take it all, drag him down to the very depths of despair. Only then would she kill him. But for now...

"I'LL JUST CRUSH YOU WITH BRUTE FORCE THEN!"

Somehow she managed to reach the Unruly Dragon before he could react accordingly; in a single fluid blow Zeus sheathed her haki-clad first and crunched against the blond's chiseled torso. An annoyed grunt greeted her ears as the whiskered warrior found himself catapulted backwards; but not alone. Even as she made contact a boot slammed into _her_ gut and fired the towering pirate through a wall. She'd scarcely risen before a towering hand closed around her nose and gave a brutal yank, hauling her upright out of the debris by the face.

"I take no pleasure in this, you know. Cease your resistance and the pain will stop."

Infuriated, she skewered him through with her blade and flung him away, sending the berserker skipping across the chateau.

"Mamamama!" delighted by what she viewed as a certain victory, Linlin belted out a mad cackle. "How's that, brat? You can't kill me; you were a fool to try! I'll never fall to the likes of you!" Still, he'd put up quite the fight; no matter, it would make what came next all the sweeter once she found that traitorous whore of a-

 ** _...naught but an itch."_**

A rush of super-heated plasma at Linlin's back proved her only warning; when she turned she quite suddenly found herself face to face with death itself. That snarling face dominated her vision, his blazing forehead pressed against hers, legs still tucked into his chest from his leap. Some sixth sense compelled her to lash out, to no avail. Napoleon carved an open trench through the earth, but failed to find flesh. Time slowed to an ugly crawl as her opponent planted himself on the exposed blade and raised his weapon high. She could feel herself moving, too slowly.

Then he struck.

 _Hard._

Golden light slammed into Linlin's unprotected visage like the hand of an angry god, wrenching her bulbous nose painfully aside to ram her headlong into the ground. Momentum seized her and ran roughshod with her body, sending her skipping across the tilted chateau as one might fling an errant stone. The world passed by in a mottled haze before she finally managed to steady herself. Just as well; a moment more and she might've flown clear off the chateau altogether. Even then her face throbbed painfully, a ghastly reminder of the wound he'd inflicted on her visage.

"Brat! Where did you go?!"

An alarm went off somewhere in the back of Linlin's mind as she painstakingly climbed back to her feet and prepared herself for their next clash. There was something decidedly unhinged in those eyes now. As though something-someone?-long held back had only now been unleashed. She could see his muscles writhing and twisting like wild snakes, gorged on an overabundance of power. Though she despised them all the more, she felt a pinprick of something she'd not experience in an age. A snake of dread coiled in her guts as she watched raw plasma emanate from her foe. Wait. She knew this feeling. It was...

 _Fear._

Blazing red eyes scorched her gaze.

 _ **"My mighty attacks cannot fell thee?"** _a low rumble pierced the air as Naruto rolled his shoulders, body spasming, a puppet severed from its strings. To her dismay he'd risen again, larger than ever before. As she looked on the gaping tear in his stomach sealed itself shut in a rush of steam, leaving naught but healthy flesh behind. _**"Who decided that?"** _A lone finger rose and with it, a snarling sphere twice the size of Prometheus ignited upon that outstretched digit. _ **"My blazing sun cannot touch you? And who decided that? The only one who gets to decide such things...is me."**_

Against her will, the Yonko found herself taking half a step backward.

 _'Did his tone just change?'_

 _ **"Begone!"**_

Napoleon howled.

"Bastard! Have at you!"

They ranged across whole cake chateau like mad titans; ever moving, constantly striking, never resting. A crazed smile, a bark of laughter, and Napoleon slammed into Rhita with the force of a small tsunami; the larger blade skittering harmlessly across the great gilded ax as though it were made of glass. Naruto riposted sharply, forcing the towering ogre of a woman back half a step. Then another. Another. And another still. His ax became little more than a golden blur as it struck out of her, the hilt and haft seeming to bend at impossible angles just to strike at her face. Even as she staggered a booted foot cracked outward, slamming into her unprotected ribs to fling her away.

 _ **"Bright Flare!"**_

An overhead smash flowed into a rousing roundhouse that took three of Linlin's teeth and set her world spinning like a top. A knee crushed up against her ribs, rupturing something deep inside of her. Armament Haki shielded her left arm, narrowly preventing the deep slice that followed from taking her dominant limb entirely. In retaliation the ax swung low and hamstrung her before biting deep into her thigh immediately thereafter. Blood stained her portly pink dress a garish shade of dark crimson and her right leg buckled beneath her.

Breath burst from her lungs in an explosive gasp and the titan fell to her knees.

This time, when the boot found the back of her head, she lacked the strength to push him away immediately. Mustering the last dregs of her strength she spun and swiped up at him with Napoleon's cognac form. It was the last act her blade/hat ever committed. A scream accompanied by a sound not unlike the tinkling of broken glass reached her ears and quite suddenly, she found herself clutching little more than a shattered hilt. Broken shards of steel rained down on her head and as she looked on, even those crumbled away into nothingness beneath the overwhelming heat.

Again, the finishing blow was held back at the last moment.

Rhitta planted itself beneath Linlin's chin, forcing her to raise her gaze.

 _ **"Now, I'll give you one last chance to walk away."**_ whiskered cheeks dimpled in a warm smile. _ **"You should take it while I'm still a gentleman. As a courtesy, I'll lend you three seconds."**_

Grasping at her blade's scorched remains, she felt her face twist into a rictus of grin.

"Never! If you think I'd submit to a wet-nosed pup like-

 _ **"So be it."**_

"Thunderbolt!"

Zeus roared to life a moment too late; even as the thundercloud lunged forward, spitting lightning, a searing hand rose to meet it. Taut fingers formed a sword and lashed out in a neat, vertical line. A simple, peerless movement. Little more than a flick of his wrist. And yet it eviscerated Zeus as surely as any blade. Something dropped in Linlin's gut at the sight. Her every instinct shrieked as one; screaming at her to move, to run, to flee-to get out of the way-even as those fingers fell in that slow, almost benign movement. For all her strength, and all her power, her bloated form simply wasn't fast enough.

 _ **"Peerless sword."**_ the radiant deity declared with an air of finality. _**"Escanor."**_

The raw power behind it bellied the attack itself; no sooner had those steely digits descended upon Zeus and her with it. Despite her efforts to resist what followed, Charlotte Linlin found herself powerless all the same. She still heard the roar of fire in her ears, _felt_ it howl over her flesh and claim her left eye. Tasted blood on her tongue. Through the other she _saw_ the remains of her right arm join her left leg to pinwheel into the air, fingers still wriggling like mad worms trying to burrow their way into flesh. Words failed her. She could no sooner speak than she could think, even the act of breathing suddenly consumed every fiber of her being.

Just who was this brat? Where had he acquired this power? He hadn't had anything like this before!

Her expression must've been telling, for the Unruly Dragon piped up once more.

Some sixth sense compelled her to lash out, to no avail.

 _ **"I was trained by a man who bore a lion upon his back."**_ the blond confided in her with a kindly look. _ **"And when he passed on, I took his lessons to heart. Since inheriting his power, I'm afraid I tend to take after him whenever I'm in this form."**_ Again, a speck of blinding brilliance ignited upon his outstretched palm. _**"Its a bit of a flaw you see. Do excuse my rudeness...but I simply cannot tolerate thy unsightly visage any longer. Until we meet again."**_

The sneer that followed was anything but kind.

 **"CRUEL SUN!"**

A towering sphere many times the size of Prometheus's maximum radius swung up and barreled headlong into the towering pinkette from below, ripping her from the ground as though she weighed no more than a leaf. Helpless to resist, the Yonko felt herself curl around the snarling orb, scarcely able to prevent her face from mashing up against the all-encompassing sphere. It ignited at once, hurling her from the chateau and into the town below, then _through_ the bustling streets into the forest beyond. In the end, she managed little more than a keening shriek before her body rocketed away across what remained of Totto Land.

"This isn't over _Naruuuuuuuuuuto!"_

He watched her form retreat into the distance, considering.

"Hmm, will she land in the ocean, I wonder?" after a moment of silence, the blond shrugged. "I suppose that's too much to ask. In any case...I've reached my limit."

Had anyone been present to witness this phenomenon, they would've witnessed a stranger sight still; in moments his towering form withered, those once expansive muscle shriveling down to a far more manageable size with a single breathe. In mere moments he'd gone from a great gleaming god to a mere mortal man. It really had been a close thing near the end there; had he not stalled Big Mom, he might've lost long before being able to utilize _The One_ to its full potential. Even now his body shrieked at him in recompense for his earlier temerity.

"Do we have what we came for, Brûlée?"

"Wiwiwiwiwiwiwi!" gentle laughter greeted his ears as she emerged, clutching a worn sheaf of parchment in her arms. "You actually did it! You beat Mama! I didn't think that was possible!"

Directing his gaze southward, he found the object of his affections lurking behind one of the shattered walls. A greatly reduced Prometheus trailed after her; the homie's once towering size now little more than a mere shadow of its former self. Hmm. Not dead after all, then. Not yet. If Big Mom perished it stood to reason that the sun would no longer exist. He supposed it was no longer any of his concern. With the injuries he'd inflicted on her, she'd be hard-pressed to live a normal life, much less retain her title as Emperor. One of her rivals would no doubt finish what he'd started.

"You really are a monster," his fiance was still gloating as he came back to himself. "Wait 'till I tell Pudding and Smoothie! They'll be beside themselves-

 _"Aaargh!"_

His world went white as her pale hand brushed his collarbone.

"Darling?!"

Despite Naruto's best efforts to maintain his composure, a bolt of fire coursed down his spine and he bent double with a hiss. Rhitta fell from his hand and clattered to the ground with a harsh thud, but he scarcely heard it, much less Brûlée's startled yelp. Every cell in his body clamped down as one, rebelling against the trauma he'd suffered in battle. Despite the boost he'd received from Prometheus early in their battle, he found himself teetering on the brink of collapse. The One wasn't something to rely on overmuch; even its momentary use of a minute had taken his reserves and drained them significantly. He hadn't had any other choice. Without using his full strength he would've been annihilated. Even now, he wasn't certain that last attack had truly killed Big mom.

"Its nothing...just a spasm. It'll pass."

A fresh pang of agony shot up his shoulder in agreement.

Still, something nagged at him.

For all of her might, no one had come to support Big Mom. In a one-on-one brawl he'd had the edge needed to defeat her; one he would've lacked had someone like Perospero or Katakuri jumped into the fray. Yet they hadn't even shown their faces. Where her own allies truly that terrified of her? Something to consider later. For now they needed to put Totto Land behind them before someone came to investigate or worse; in his current state her Sweet Commanders might prove troublesome. Brûlée might be an able fighter, but she wasn't suited to front-line combat...

 _"I should've known it was you."_

A fresh pair of footfalls intruded upon their solace with implacable severity. He didn't need to look to know who hard arrived; their voice had confirmed his suspicions outright. When he raised his gaze he found a pair of peerless scarlet orbs met his. By themselves they wouldn't have been so worrying; it was their owner that concerned him. That imposing form, his steely visage wrapped in a low scarf. A disbelieving laugh burst out of him and leaped into the night despite his best efforts; a snarl of exasperation as much as exhaustion that threatened to sap what little of his strength remained.

For a moment, neither spoke.

"Have you come for my head, Katakuri?"

"That depends on your response." the mochi-man replied tersely.

"Oh, dear. You'll have to forgive me if I don't believe you." Naruto growled.

"Wait, wait! Don't fight!" Brûlée interjected hastily, throwing herself between them before they could come to blows. "I asked him to come! He helped me get a copy of Mama's road poneglyph! He's the only reason I managed to get out of the treasure room alive!"

Blue eyes cut toward her elder sibling with vicious intensity.

"Did he now?"

"You needn't worry." the towering man replied after a long, tense moment. "I'm alone. Perospero and the others are...distracted at the moment." Rather than elaborate, the Minister of Flour folded both arms across his tattooed chest and held his ground. "No thanks to the chaos _you've_ caused."

"It was necessary."

"Was it?" Katakuri retorted with a dangerous air. "You've all but destroyed the balance of power here; you do realize that, don't you? Even should Mama somehow survive her injuries, she'll never be whole again. Now you've stolen a copy of her poneglyph with the intent to distribute it to the masses. In short, you have all but guaranteed that one of her rivals will eventually overtake and claim her territory, if not her life. She's going to lose the title of Emperor due to your actions here today. If Kaido doesn't move on her territory, then Whitebeard or Shanks certainly will-

 _ **"And what's wrong with that?!"**_

Brûlée squeaked as her husband-to-be wriggled out of her arms and thrust himself forward.

For all his stoicism and height advantage, Katakuri still flinched when the blond jabbed him in the stomach. It would've been worrying, were it not for the fact that he _knew_ the smaller man had completely and utterly exhausted his powers. Said powers were _gradually_ returning for every instant he spent in the presence of Prometheus. Given enough time, he'd recover. If he wished to kill him, now was the time. He _should_ kill him. He already knew this man was a threat, not just to Totto Land, not only to his siblings-as those he'd helped spirit away all those years ago-but to the world itself.

It would be easy to end him now.

Almost effortless, even.

And _yet..._

"Your mother was/is a glutton who cares for no one but yourself." with each word, the whiskered warrior jabbed his finger into his vest. "Worse, she's a right spoiled little shit who never grew up and doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. If left alone long enough, she would've caused an international incident. You don't like it? Be better. Take her title for all I care. Or don't; find your own way on the seas and find your own crew, I don't care. This world needs to change, and it _couldn't_ change while she was an Emperor. Now, then I'm only going to ask you this once...!"

Crimson drilled up into crimson with the heat of a thousand suns.

"Why. Are. You. Here?"

In that moment, Charlotte Katakuri could have given any number of replies. He had no reason to tell the truth; to admit that he merely wished to ascertain the safety of his siblings. Even after all these years, this man baffled him. He hadn't seemed the sort to go to such lengths when they'd first met-conversely, they'd scarcely known one another at the time-yet here he was once more, spitting in the face of fate. If he didn't know better, he might've thought the Celestial Dragon to be a "D", one of those impertinent fools always willing to do what no one else dared.

In the end, he simply shrugged.

"I wanted to meet the man who stole my sisters' hearts."

Brûlée sputtered madly.

 _"Brother!"_

"Will you return here someday?" ignoring his startled sibling, he turned a rigid glare upon the exhausted blond. Already color had come back to his cheeks and he was standing straighter. He'd even retrieved his weapon-now there was a tool Katakuri found himself wary of-and used it as an impromptu crutch. Oddly enough, his inquiry only seemed to strengthen the young man. To possess that kind of resolve, to be able to stand strong in the face of adversity and emerge unscathed...no wonder Mama loathed him.

...I'll come back if your idiot mother causes more trouble." came the reply.

"Fair enough."

Without another word, the Sweet Commander turned and strode away. He didn't look back, even when faint snatches of conversation tickled at his senses. Loyalty was one thing. Family, another. If his sisters were happy, that suited him just fine. Mama needn't know about this little rendezvous; even if she were to learn of it, there was little she could do in her present condition. Her wounds would take years to heal, if not more. Beyond that, the people's faith in her had been shaken. Many would likely flee Totto land in droves now that their overlord was no longer in any condition to stop them.

Straightening with an effort, the Unruly Dragon groaned.

 _"Please_ tell me you didn't contact anyone else."

A pale hand lightly swatted him across the back of the head. "Of course not! Big Brother Katakuri was the only one I could trust with this!"

"Good, because I _really_ don't feel like dealing with Amande right now...

Bitter laughter burst out of her. "She'd try to cut you if you even tried, you know."

"She would, wouldn't she?" With a force of will, the blond righted himself and began to massage the small welt left there. "You made the copies, right?"

"Naturally!"

"Good." his head bobbed once in agreement. "Once they're properly distributed to the masses, Big Mom will lose even more support. Shall we go, then? We need to visit Amazon Lily before news of this spreads and that'll take long enough by ship rather than your-

...just a moment."

Rather than answer the violette dithered instead, holding her tongue a long moment. Her gaze wandered across the chateau, taking in the ruined down below, the deep tear in the earth where her mother had been flung; the now-burning woods that lay beyond, raging high into the night. The fire cast a strange, almost eerie glow in her eyes. As he looked on, tears gathered in those almond orbs, brimming over. A willowy hand rose, covering her mouth, stifling a small sob against her fingers.

"Why don't I feel anything?"

Something lurched in him at the sight.

"This was my home, once." Brûlée murmured to herself, bright eyes turning misty. "I nearly grew up here. But...now that I'm back don't feel anything. I was afraid when Mama showed up and threatened us...but...no, wait. I do. _Hate._ I hated Mama. I'm glad she lost. I'm _glad_ you hurt her. I hope that rotten bitch suffers for every moment of hell she put us through. I wish she _died."_ her jaw clenched, a muscle leaping in her forehead, only to vanish just as quickly. "What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?"

A hand wound around her waist.

"We'll come back soon." he reassured her. "Maybe we can convince the rest of your siblings when we do."

"They won't listen. They didn't then; why would they now? Even...even Katakuri...

"Bah! We'll just knock them all out and take 'em with us, then."

More laughter followed his answer, sad and despondent.

"You're such an idiot. What do you see in us?"

To her disbelief, warm lips found her cheek.

 _"Everything."_

Leaving her to stew-and blush!-with that startling thought, Naruto raised his weapon and turned to face the still-silent Prometheus. The sun wilted beneath his gaze, looking for an escape and finding none. Perhaps, had it retained more sense, it might've tried to follow after Katakuri. Alas, it had missed that chance and now found itself pinned in the face of those blazing orbs. Even as it thought to flee a hand gripped it by the face and drew it close.

"Right, then. Get in the ax, hothead."

Again, the fire faltered.

"Eh?"

"My weapons absorbs the heat I exude and multiplies it." Naruto raised Rhitta for emphasis, keenly aware of his exposed state with each passing moment. "You'll find yourself quite at home there. Now get in...unless you'd rather meet the same fate as Zeus and Napoleon?!"

"Alright, alright!

With a whimper the mass of compressed flames did as it was bade, storing itself in the gilded ax. Hefting his weapon the blond permitted himself a moment to revel in his victory. But only a moment. Any more and his pride threatened to go to his head, something he refused to allow. Totto Land would heal from today's wounds, given time. Perhaps, in two years, they might make another foray here. Perhaps Big Mom would be gone by then, and the threat she posed with her. For now, there were matters to attend to. Events that couldn't be ignored, as much as he would've liked to leave them lie.

"Now, then..."

Naruto beamed.

 _"Let's begin phase two."_

* * *

 _(...Small Scene Break/Several Days Later...)_

* * *

 _"A Celestial Dragon is in our port?!"_

"Y-Yes, my lady, I saw the sail...

Hancock felt a muscle jump in her jaw even as she parroted the words back at the courier from her throne. For their part, the messenger mostly managed to meet her frigid gaze without fainting. Poor thing. A vicious burst of Conqueror's Haki put paid to that. Even then it did nothing to tame the roiling serpents in her stomach. Her heart lurched painfully against her chest, threatening to burst out of her breast if she did nothing to calm it. If it was this bad for her hearing it secondhand, she shuddered to think of what her sisters must be experiencing on the docks. Especially Sandersonia.

The thought of her siblings ashen faces did precious little to console her.

In a fit she threw herself from her seat and began to pace. She wasn't even aware that she'd bit her own thumb until the acrid tang of blood flooded her mouth. Irritated by this brief bout of weakness she turned and spat on the floor. Somehow the sight of the stain on the cobblestones triggered something in her. A flash of memory took her in midstride and she went rigid.

 _Blood, whips, and burningburningburningalwaystheBURNING!_

"No, no, no!" a furious shout escaped her lips before she could think to hold it back. "Why are they here?!"

Salome offered a soothing hiss, causing her to absently stroke his coils.

All the while her back burned, just as it had that day.

Amazon Lily was protected by the Calm Belt; even with recent seastone innovations fostered by that irritating Vegapunk, ferocious Sea Kings devoured anyone fool enough to stray too close to their home. More than that, her deal with the World Government had been formed just for the purpose of preventing such intrusions. Though she was loathe to obey them, it kept those vile _predators_ away from her home. Now that protection had been violated with little more than a thought, and for what? She didn't even know the reason.

She didn't want to go back.

She couldn't bear the thought of it.

She'd sooner die than submit herself to _that_ again.

If one of those _things_ laid a hand on her, she'd lop it off. She wanted to tear them apart and feed them to wild animals. Yes! That was precisely what she would do! Celestial Dragons were many things, but they were weak when it came to physical strength, almost laughably so. A crazed plan took shape in her mind, spurred on by her own anxiety and fear. She would toss them into the arena and feed them to Bacura. They'd scuttle his ship in the Calm Belt and leave it for the Sea Kings to dismantle. No one would ever know that a World Noble had set foot here.

To her dismay the doors opened of their own volition.

Hancock rounded on them with a hiss.

 _"Who dares?!"_

"I apologize for my rudeness, Snake Princess," an unfamiliar voice reached her ears over the creaking hinges, "But I decided to show myself in. I won't be but a moment."

Hancock's back went rigid.

Clad in tattered white robes, the Celestial Dragon was everything she _hadn't_ expected him to be. He was _very_ tall, she'd give him that much. Were it not for the robes she would've never suspected him to be one of them. His eyes were a striking blue, his cheeks whiskered, his blond hair more unruly than a serpent's nest. Then there was the matter of the cage he'd brought with him. Held aloft as though by an unseen force, it glided behind him Was it wheeled, somehow? How had he managed to cart it up the stairs, then?

Sandersonia burst in behind him a heartbeat later, her face pale.

"I'm sorry, sister!" she exclaimed. "I tried to stop him!"

Mustering her courage, Hancock glowered darkly.

"I will say this once, man; leave this island."

He didn't agree, but neither did he laugh.

"Ah. I had a feeling it was you, but I wasn't sure." there was a hint of recognition in those eyes, yet she knew him not. "You probably want to kill me, don't you? That's alright."

Sandersonia bristled explosively, nearly shifting into her hybrid form in her anger.

"You filth! How dare you speak of her that-

"Peace." that quite voice soothed. "I won't fight."

As she looked on a gloved hand rose, loosening his collar.

 _"If it will bring you some measure of solace, you may have my head."_

Rather than continue his steadfast approach the blond stopped some distance away and exposed his neck, refusing to move. The sight of his arrogance had her grinding her teeth. The gall! A snarl tore out of her and she found her hands twitching into her favored pose. Bacura be damned, if he spoke another ill-word she'd turn him to stone and hurl him into the sea herself!

"And who are you then, knave, that I must bow so low?"

The smallest of smiles plucked at those tanned, whiskered cheeks.

"Only a cat of a different coat, Boa Hancock. And please, don't bow. It doesn't suit you."

In an instant her rage boiled over.

"SILENCE!"

A haki-clad-heel shot out like greased lightning to strike him in the chin. To his credit, the Celestial Dragon rolled with the blow, uncaring as his back crunch against a nearby wall. He made no move to catch himself as he fell; absorbing the impact with his face. Hancock heard something crack and her heart twisted with dark pleasure at the pain etched into his visage. With a low grunt, the Unruly Dragon reached up and snapped his nose back into place. Only then did he climb back to his feet.

"That's it. Go right ahead. Hit me as many times as you like." he growled, spreading his arms wide. "Break my nose. Tear out my tongue. Your hatred, your spite, your rage...I'll take it all; I won't fight back."

"Not another word you filthy-

"Monster?" blue eyes flashed dangerously at her, stained with flecks of red. "I come in peace and _that's_ what you were going to call me? Funny you should mention that. Y'see, monsters are like dragons. Some do all that they can do be good, upstanding beings. They hide their teeth. Shed their claws. Tear off their wings. They tuck in their tails and try to live a normal life, to start a family."

He paused, waiting for her to challenge him; when she did not, he plodded onward.

"Y'know, for the most part, they're very good at hiding what they truly are." a show of teeth sent shivers shooting down her spine. "I'm not saying this to frighten you; I merely speak the truth. It's only when you give one a reason to fight, motivation and drive, the will to do defend, to do harm...that's when you find the monster. Take it from someone who knows. I'm not your enemy m'lady. On the contrary, I'd like nothing more than to relive you of that burden of yours. But if you press this issue...if you pick a fight with me for no reason other than petty spite and mindless indulgence, if you continue down this path...

 **...you'll see just how much of a monster I can truly be."**

Those blue orbs narrowed.

"You may not remember me but I remember you. I wasn't able to prevent what happened to you and your sisters that day, Boa Hancock." Despite the flinch her name drew from the Warlord, he plowed onward. "And for that, I'm truly sorry. I didn't have the power I possess now, but that's no excuse. I've regretted it every day of my life. Every. Damn. Day. I'm here to make up for that mistake."

"Now, then! On behalf of my forebears...

Wordlessly, he knelt, no, bowed before her.

...I've come to beg your forgiveness. And with gifts."

Despite the trauma clawing at her, Hancock arched an eyebrow.

"Speak swiftly," she growled, "Lest I change my mind and do something...foolish."

His head rose incrementally. "What would you do if I told you I wasn't your enemy, Hancock?"

Her heart lurched painfully against her breast, shrieking. "I would not grace your ears with hearsay."

"And I did not come here to waste your time." The Unruly Dragon retorted firmly. "I find actions speak louder than words. Behold!"

With a flourish the Warrior of the Sun reared back and seized the tarp, unfurling the contents of the what she'd assumed to be a mere box. It was not what she'd expected. Heavy bars greeted her gaze, reinforced steel so impenetrable that nothing short of monstrous strength could ever hope to break them. Certainly not the cowering captives contained within. Bound and gagged, the three of them flinched away from the light, whimpering in distress as their naked forms were exposed to the light of the throne room.

The blood drained from her face.

She knew these men.

All too well.

There was the one who'd branded her. She knew him by his bearded face and the scar on his temple. Beside him, his brother, the one who'd forced each of them to eat a Devil Fruit for his own amusement. She'd never forget that ugly, joweled visage. The third was unknown to her, but she suspected he was a relative of some sort. One with a broken jaw, judging by that incessant wheezing of his. Wordless gibberish flowed from his swollen face as he tried to scamper away from her as far as the bars would allow.

"Mmmph!" piggish eyes bugged wide at her, round and glassy with fear. "Mhmph?!"

"Do forgive Charloss." the blond hummed pleasantly, patting the bars with his off hand. "He was quite loud when I took him. Unlike the others. They're my gift to you." he declared, placing his head against the floor once more. "Free of charge. I give you those who wronged you and your sisters so long ago, and their descendant. I give you retribution...

Unflinching, he stepped aside, even as she rose.

The three aged figures cowered in terror.

...I give you your due vengeance."

Her eyes cut toward him.

"What do you want?"

 _He smiled._

 **A/N: Ah, I'm so tired from writing, I feel as though my eyes might fall out!**

 **...although I have no eyes to speak of.**

 **SKULL JOKE! YOHOHOHOHO!**

 **And we're moving on now!**

 **Again, Naruto isn't the have-all-be-all. He can be overpowered. He can lose. Kizaru-if he actually dried-could land some dangerously fatal blows. Someone like Kaidou would give him a HARD fight. Don't even get me started on Whitebeard or Shanks. But let's face it, Big Mom is just a BAD matchup; doesn't matter if its mochi or candy, you bet your ass the sun will BURN that shit to the ground.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would Ya Kindly?**

 **Next time: That's all the Truth I Know.**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential ones at that!**

 **You'll see 'em soon!**

 **And an Omake!**

 **(Previews!)**

 _"Throw him to Bacura!"_

 _"Strangle him!"_

* * *

 _Pudding glowered._

 _...I don't know if I should kill you or kiss you."_

 _The Unruly Dragon feigned hesitation with a small smile. "Well..._

* * *

 _"I'm loyal to one thing and one thing only._

 _"And what might that be?"_

 _"Peace."_

* * *

 _White teeth flashed in a cheery smile._

 _"Grit your teeth."_

 _"Wait, wha-_

 _CRUNCH._

* * *

 _ **(Omake)**_

* * *

 _Aokiji twitched._

 _"You can't be serious."_

 _"I'm entirely serious! Pedal faster, ice-head! We've got a lot of ground to cover!"_

 _"You can literally fly on that sun of yours. Why do you need me to-_

 _The shit-eating grin that followed chilled his already frozen bones in a way that few things could. His smile alone seemed to super-heat the sea itself; sending the temperature spiking wildly, veering into danger. A thick bead of sweat rolled down the his brow and dripped off his chin. Damn it. Damn him. If their abilities weren't such a poor match up, he might've actually considered freezing the dragon on the spot. As it stood, he was the one in danger of melting-and soon at that._

 _...fine." his shoulders sagged. "But if you think for one second I'm going to let you ride on my shoulders-_

 _A crushing weight settled somewhere between his abdomen and spine._

 _"MUSH!"_

 **R &R~!**


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